Melodrama with a K

BELIEVE it or not, "Saans" has finally ended. We will not be visiting Nani's stretchable flat again, whose rooms accommodated first Priya and the children, then Gautam, then Manisha, then Gautam's parents, and through it all never seemed to run out of space, just as Neena's admittedly viewer-led script never ran out of tiresomely similar twists and turns. It became as difficult to end as a marriage that is going badly but has to be played out for the sake of the children. Serials have to be kept going as long as the ratings are coming in. When those finally petered out you could not call it a day because Neena Gupta is one of Mumbai's most organised producers, canning her episodes months in advance. Winding it up meant giving her some four months of notice. Star Plus could of course have yanked it off the air unceremoniously, as they have done with others, but you do not behave so boorishly with someone like Gupta.

Having not watched it for months in-between, I have no idea what transpired in the interim, but some desperate measures were resorted to last week. Gautam was missing (nothing new, over two years of "Saans's" history) and Priya and his father were out searching for him. Back home Suri Sahib was all set to throw a party to celebrate his being found, so Nani was told not to cook dinner. The only hitch is, Gautam had not been found, and dinner time was approaching. Suddenly Priya remembered a temple Gautam was fond of, and asked the driver to stop nearby. She went, found it, and prayed fervently to an impassive stone god with a snake around his neck.

Then she opened her eyes, turned around, and peered into the not- so-distant distance, and what should she see, but the back of a man lying on a bench. Gautam of course, unshaven and unkempt, but still a catch that would ensure a party at Suri Sahib's place. Manisha meanwhile was resolving to leave Gautam alone for the enth time, packing up and writing an "I will always love you, Gautam" note. Mercifully she did not come to Nani's house to deliver it, or it would have all started all over again. And that would have been really too much to take.

As it happens, nobody need be missed because in the merry-go- round of Indian soaps, all the major actors are already gainfully employed in other stories on other channels. Gupta and Kawaljit on "Siski" on Star Plus, Nani and Gautam's father in "Kaise Kahoon" on Zee, Kavita Kapoor and Shagufta Ali in sundry other productions.

There is currently a dizzying surfeit of bahus, betis, jijas, bhabis and ammijaans and abbujaans on the small screen. "Kaise Kahoon" echoes "Heena" in its dependence on politics in the extended Muslim family. "Hamare Tumhare", also on Zee has another heavy family scene shaping up, and of course there are all those families on Star Plus.

It is getting to be quite bizarre, the melodrama industry. Thanks to Ekta Kapoor, all those long names beginning with the letter K have become so infectious that other producers are following suit. Last week Sony announced one called "Kahin Diya Jale Kahin Jiyaa", which actually is not a Balaji Telefilms production. But there is a positive rash of them around, scattered across channels: "Koshish Ek Aasha", "Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki", "Kamoshiyan Kab Tak", "Kabhi Sautan Kabhi Saheli", and the unbeatable "Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi". On Sony, Ekta Kapoor is launching a short K-serial: "Kkusum". What the double K stands for, we will discover in due course.

Watching these stories can become a bore: they all seem to have screeching maid servants, bumbling man servants, pouting daughters of the house, conniving middle aged aunts and wilting men. But the names continue to be inventive: "Ghar Ek Mandir", "Aasman Se Tapki", "Ek Mahal Ho Sapno Ka", and "Chandan ki Palna", "Resham ki Dori". With a little marketing savvy we could get mass dubbing going and replace Mexico as the motherland of television soaps, exporting them to the rest of the world. In fact that might become necessary quite soon. Because even as channels spend more and more to produce glossier and glossier soaps, there is already a forecast of 15 per cent shrinking in adspend in the coming year. If the advertising disappears, how will this blossoming world of television fiction survive, let alone retain its enticing glow?

An actor to watch: Kay Kay Menon in "Pradhan Mantri". While the cynicism in this serial continues to be overstated through the second episode, this unusually tall actor who plays the pradhan mantri is a major saving grace. His lines could be better, but he mouths them with conviction. Looks like he will have to carry this serial on his shoulders.

Cliched India: From noon to 6 p.m. today on the Discovery Channel you can catch six episodes of the series "Journeys". These are journeys through India and they re-affirm how every quality channel has a tough time coming up with original ideas. Temples and pilgrims, the Himalayas, the Taj Mahal, Onam in Kerala, camel races at Pushkar - if you are looking for a different take on India, you will not find it here. However if you want to see something of the Silk Route from Kashgar to Dunguang, watch the second hour.

On Animal Planet: later today, from 7.30 p.m. to 8.30 p.m. you can catch the story of the transition made by two giant pandas from China who are now lodged in the Smithsonian Natiional Zoo in Washington DC. Beginning from the mountains of Wolong in China, then aboard a Federal Express cargo plane, and finally onto a state-of-the-art panda habitat at Washington, the channel tracks the journey of these animals.

The Street: A new series on HBO, Saturdays at 7.15 p.m.. Set in the world of Wall Street whiz kids, it has been created by Darren Star , the man behind "Beverly Hills 90210", "Melrose Place" and "Sex and the City".

Unputdownable: Laloo Yadav, who was doing the rounds of news studios last week.

He was, as the news anchors' put it, occupying the moral high ground , sounding off on the National Democratic Alliance's corruption. Pot calling the kettle black? Not at all, said Laloo. "Kahan brother, yeh to desh drohi hai, (these people are anti- national") he said to Rajdeep Sardesai and Srinivas Jain on Star News. Meanwhile the latter was asking in inimitable Hinglish, " Is tarah se aap function karenge public life mein?" What with Jayalalitha whipping up drama at her huge public gatherings, and thumbing her nose at the Election Commission, the news had much better entertainment to offer last week than the political dramas currently on air.

SEVANTI NINAN

E-mail the writer at sevantininan@vsnl.com

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