The Hindu : Tamil Nadu News : Success stress proves fatal to children

Online edition of India's National Newspaper
Sunday, Jan 23, 2005

Tamil Nadu

Tamil Nadu

Success stress proves fatal to children

By Sandhya Soman

Watch out : - Look for drastic change in the child's behaviour - drop in academic performance, - lack of interest Reach out to the children, give them empathetic listening and show genuine concern.

CHENNAI, JAN. 22. She was sportive, a good student and State-level athlete. It's been a week since 15-year-old Raje Shabi, a class X student of a Kilpauk school here, hanged herself from a ceiling fan at her Secretariat Colony house.

Her family, neighbours and classmates are yet to come to terms with the suicide, apparently prompted by Raje's mother repeatedly scolding her for watching television when model examinations were round the corner.

On January 3, a class IX student from Choolaimedu ended her life after her father caught her `modifying' the report card.

Of late it has been the same old story between January and May. Police records say there were 18 cases of suicide in 2003, 19 in 2004 and already two in 2005. All the dead were under 15. ost of these children took the extreme step under stress set off by pressure from parents and teachers to excel in examinations. Between January and March there are fewer storybooks and games and less of TV watching and more of reprimands and warnings. The `dont's' peak in June-July and climax in May when the results are out.

Ten boys and three girls committed suicide between June and July 2004 for `exam-related' reasons, says Joint Commissioner (Central) Sunil Kumar.

Learning tight rope-walk

P.V. Sankaranaryanan of the suicide helpline `Sneha,' says it takes time for adolescents to learn tightrope walking in life. So it is "normal" to have suicidal tendencies — an impulse which creeps in when there is nobody to listen to or recognise the "I'm feeling lonely; I'm bored; Nobody understands" feeling.

"We celebrate successes. But do parents tell children how to take failures and losses in their stride," asks Sankaranarayanan, whose helpline (044-28352345) volunteers listened to nearly 50 distressed callers aged between 15 and 19 during January-June 2004.

A doctor couple, P. Raghumani and K. Kalaichelvi, try to keep their class VIII son in good humour even while reminding him of his lessons in the midst of TV, computer games and a host of other distractions.

Dr. Kalaichelvi sometimes shouts. Dr. Raghumani, who tried to review the boy's half-yearly question and answer papers, made a tactical retreat after he asked, "Why do you torture me?"

"They resent being scolded. And torture has become a common word in his age group," says Dr. Raghumani.

Teachers, says educationist Aruna Raghavan, are too busy trying to "finish the portions" to notice any distress in the sea of faces in classrooms.

Dr. Kalaichelvi will wait two more years for her son to grow out of this tricky phase.

An awareness which could arrest the slowly-rising suicide statistics.

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