The Hindu : Opinion / News Analysis : Fearing company

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Monday, Apr 25, 2005

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Opinion - News Analysis

Fearing company

Nathalie Hunt

Social phobia may sound like a bad case of shyness, but it's not — it's far more debilitating.

SUDDENLY THEIR attention turns to me, and every word I've known deserts me. Somehow I manage to make a vague noise that just passes as communication and they turn to someone else. My head is flooded with words such as "failure" and "hopeless." I skulk off hoping that no one noticed how much I was shaking or how I had blushed. Where was I? In a deal-clinching presentation? Performing on stage? No, at work, being asked if I'd had a good weekend. Thanks to my social phobia, even this simple conversation is painful.

Social phobia is defined as a marked or persistent fear of social and performance situations in which the sufferer is exposed to possible scrutiny by others. It shares many of the qualities of shyness, but is far more extreme and disruptive. Agoraphobics also fear social situations, but they are afraid of the difficulty of escaping or of possible harm, rather than of being criticised. Social phobics are also more threatened by intimate situations, such as parties, than by crowds.

Forming new relationships is a nerve-racking ordeal. Two years after graduating, I decided this level of anxiety wasn't normal, so I visited my doctor. By this stage, I had begun shaking noticeably in social situations. At times I struggled to concentrate because I was so preoccupied with hiding my nerves. My doctor recommended me for cognitive behavioural therapy — it was a relief to discover that other people understood and that something could be done to help.

Three months into therapy, I feel more hopeful. It is a slow process — after all, you are questioning ways of thinking that have been automatic for years. Life would be extremely dull, not to mention noisy, if we were all constantly blathering on at each other. Just the ability to blather on when I felt like it would suit me fine.

- Guardian Newspapers Limited 2005

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