The Hindu : International : Singular course: The man who has married himself

Online edition of India's National Newspaper
Saturday, May 14, 2005

International

International

Singular course: The man who has married himself

Sharon Krum

Now, meet the New York resident Kevin Nadal who last week married... Kevin Nadal

NEW YORK: It is hard to know what to say to a man who has just married himself. The "wedding'' took place last Saturday in front of 125 guests in New York. It was there that Kevin Nadal, 27, a Filipino-American gay performance artist and Ph.D. scholar in counselling psychology, took his vows — "I, Kevin Nadal, take me, Kevin Nadal, to have and hold, in sickness and health'' — threw a bouquet, then partied into the wee hours. "Everybody said it was the best wedding they'd been to,'' he says proudly.

What he was trying to do, he says, was stage an event that would celebrate the single life while highlighting the discrimination against singletons. "I've attended at least a dozen weddings, and I have bought tons of gifts for those couples. I'm happy to do it. But I started thinking: we always celebrate married life, why not single life?

"Single people are marginalised in our culture. People think you don't have the commitment to be in a relationship. Women have it tough. Heterosexual men, they get a free pass and are congratulated for being a `player'. But for gay men and single women, there's a stigma because we don't have a partner.''

So, clad in a white suit and red shirt, Mr. Nadal took centre stage, surrounded by a bridal party of 32 in the loft that served as Samantha's apartment in Sex and the City. The only absentees were his parents. "They are traditional Filipino and would not have understood. I told them I was having a birthday party.'' Like many bride/grooms, Mr. Nadal had a serious case of nerves before the big day. "I wasn't worried I was making a mistake, or if this was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with,'' he laughs. He was more concerned about his white suit and whether he would go home with anyone at the end of the night.

First Mr. Nadal made a speech about what being single means to him. "I told them it means taking your sick ass down to the pharmacy at 3 a.m. because nobody is going for you, or going on a first date hoping this time it will work, then going home knowing it is not going to happen. "I felt very empowered saying it,'' he says. "And I felt by the end of the night that people understood the wedding wasn't just an excuse for a [$6,000: about Rs. 2.6 lakhs] party, but a personal statement. ''

- Guardian Newspapers Limited 2005

Printer friendly page
Send this article to Friends by E-Mail

International

News Update

Stories in this Section

9 killed, scores injured as unrest over terror trial quelled by army in Uzbekistan city

Major blow to Bush over Bolton U.N. nomination

Galloway to appear before U.S. Senate committee

Rice condemns "disrespect"

Singular course: The man who has married himself

Germans back E.U. constitution

Dutch "allowed genocide" in Srebrenica

Palestinians turn against Fatah