BANGALORE: Many effective people are unable to make the climb in their careers because they are not assertive enough in critical situations. Assertiveness training is something executive coaches now routinely provide.

"Being assertive is not being aggressive... An assertive person is an achiever while an aggressive person will be a dictator who must always have his way,'' says M.K. Rao, former Human Resource head and now a head-hunter and executive coach.

He says creating a winning scenario is what assertiveness is all about and there is no a question of being domineering.

Assertive communication in the context of a team or an organisation is always "winning language." You express yourself clearly, and for example, say: "I am not happy with the progress but you can speed up things by...''

You also listen and even ask questions to find out if your message has been clear enough; you also try to build a rapport with the other persons, Mr. Rao says.

That way, what you are asking for does not seem like a command but a request.

Psychotherapist Sunanda Murthy says: "Body language forms an important part in assertiveness. You sit or stand straight, make appropriate gestures and never fidget or appear nervous even if making a difficult request.''

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