Tamil Nadu - Coimbatore   

Living life, away from maddening stress

K.Jeshi

What they long for is company and freedom to do things their way

Coimbatore: They have retired from top positions and their children are well settled. They have no complaints about their daughters-in-law and their love for grandchildren is eternal. Yet, as they mature, they find solace within the confines of an old-age home.

As N. Palaniappan, the sprightly 61-year-old, puts it: "It is basically out of convenience. I have arthritis problem and my wife is unwell and unable to take care of me. She stays with my son and daughters and I have moved to an old age home so that my medical needs are taken care of. My family visits me often and I am happy with this arrangement."

Constant attention

His friend R.Subramanian, who is now 80, also preferred an old-age home for health reasons.

" My son, an army officer, has left Coimbatore on a transfer. My granddaughters are in school and my daughter-in-law juggles with her job, kids' needs and housework. And since my cardiac problem needs constant medical attention, an old-age home is the answer."

People running such homes say that people who belong to the older generation, who have lived their lives holding top positions feel that their role at homes become insignificant after retirement.

"They tend to feel insecure when they are not accorded attention. Youngsters, because of stress and competition at workplace, do not have time and patience to talk to their parents. For grandchildren too, because of the tremendous pressure to perform in academics and extra-curricular activities, they is no time to spend with their grandparents and listen to their stories," says K.Francis, managing trustee of Mother Care Centre for old people, located near TVS Nagar on Thadagam Road.

Systematic care

What they long for is company and freedom to do things their way. Says 82-year-old T.A.Narayanan, a retired magistrate, now staying at Mother Care: " It's not that we abandon our homes and come here. I visit my son's home whenever I want to and he also comes here once a week with his family. So, we don't miss each other." They also get an opportunity to mingle with people of their age.

"We go out for walks, we sing and dance; and we share our thoughts. I don't worry about tomorrow, and am happy with my independence. Everything is systematic and nursing assistants are available to meet emergency situations," says the 91-year-old M.Subraya Kini from Mangalore.

Feel secure

Mr.Francis says that people who have illnesses related to old age such as dementia and Alzheimer's disease prefer an old age home because they need assistance even for their

day-to-day activities. Ramakrishnan, a chartered accountant from Mumbai, who is staying at an old-age home with his mother, says that staying in an old age home makes them feel secure.

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