Bangalore: Dealing with "difficult people" is part of the work atmosphere. They may be bosses, colleagues or customers. The way you deal with them can shape or damage your career.

"If you can understand what makes a person behave or talk in a difficult manner, you will be in a better position to control the situation and also help the difficult person resolve conflict," says psychotherapist Sunanda Murthy. Often, when dealing with a difficult person, you may react in such a negative manner that makes his or her behaviour even more difficult to cope with.

"Reacting in an equally harsh way, becoming defensive instead of explaining your actions and being frightened can worsen the situation. By reacting in a more positive manner and by calmly explaining why things went wrong, one can defuse tension," she says.

Former HR head and now consultant M.K Rao elaborates on this. "Turning around a difficult person to become more reasonable takes time. By controlling your own reactions, over a period of weeks, months, perhaps even a year, you can make your difficult boss or colleague understand how unreasonable his behaviour has been. Over the short term, such change is not possible but you can change the way you react," he says.

Here a great amount of self-control on one's part becomes necessary.

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