Tamil Nadu - Coimbatore   

When in distress take counsel

A. A. Michael Raj

Even educated people think counselling centres are for the mentally ill

Coimbatore: Listening in a non-judgemental way to people facing difficult life situations has enabled counsellors at the Mano Shanthi Family Counselling Centre to help those in distress overcome their problems.

"Cases are increasing year by year," Sharavana Priya, one of the counsellors at the centre, told The Hindu .

"There were only 13 cases when the centre was inaugurated in 1988. This has gone up to 145 during 2005-06. We take up all kinds of cases including suicide attempts, harassment, and family problems such as interference from in-laws, dowry issues, psychological illness and marital maladjustment."

Functioning under the auspices of the Young Women's Christian Association (YWCA), Mano Shanthi is aided by the Central Social Welfare Board and provides free service to people in the city and surrounding areas, irrespective of religious, linguistic or economic backgrounds. (Telephone: 2212306/ 4391656).

Clients

"Our clients include people from the higher, well-educated class to the lowest, downtrodden, underprivileged people in society. We treat all of them with equal importance," she added.

"The centre offers guidance regarding legal procedures and also arranges for women and children in distress to reside in short-stay homes."

She mentioned the case of a 16-year-old girl who fell in love with a boy of about the same age and eloped with him. After ten days, a cell phone call helped trace the teenagers. Counsellors arranged a meeting between the girl and her parents.

Children

"Children go astray because they are not under the care of their parents," said Shervin Brinner, another counsellor.

"Sometimes both the parents are working and they do not have time for their children. Because of this, the children learn bad habits."

He said that the counselling centre helped youngsters who were facing personal problems, parents who found it difficult to bring up their children and children who had learning difficulties or mild behavioural disorders and adjustment problems.

Media

"At 16, children are only half mature and this can lead to arguments at home and parenting problems. Portrayal in the mass media also contributes," said Ms. Priya.

With the joint family system having disintegrated, problems that used to be solved at home had a tendency to come out into the open.

"There are also aged people who are asking for shelter because they have no one who wants to take care of them. Sometimes the only solution to adjustment problems is to ask mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law to live in separate places," she said.

Psychological problems could create rifts between a man and his wife.

Awareness

"Till the end, they do not know what the problem is and that there is a treatment for the illness. In villages, people attribute such a situation to the Devil. Sometimes, even educated couples have no awareness of such matters," Ms. Priya observed.

People sometimes avoided seeking help from professional counsellors thinking that counselling centres were for the mentally ill.

Marital disagreements were quite often the result of mismatch between couples, with parents matching only caste, wealth, religion or education, instead of character.

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