The Hindu : Sport : England leaves as a broken outfit

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Sunday, Feb 04, 2007
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England leaves as a broken outfit

Peter Roebuck

England's misery is almost over. Not too many moons ago Andrew Flintoff and his hapless side landed in Perth with smiles on their faces and hope in their hearts. Now they leave as a broken and scorned outfit.

It did not seem possible that any team could tumble so far so quickly. Certainly this mob will not be missed. They came, saw and collapsed.

In 1961 thousands of supporters lined the streets of Melbourne to wave farewell to Frank Worrell and his calypso cricketers. More recently Sourav Ganguly's combative side commanded respect. Some of them were cheered to the echo.

Not missed

But England will not be missed. Indeed their recent performances have been so embarrassing that anger has subsided into sympathy. It is not much fun kicking a corpse.

No one watching the two sides prepare for their final encounter in Sydney would be surprised by the sporting slaughter that has unfolded. Australia is a confronting continent. It is a land of droughts and fires inhabited by some of God's noisiest creations. Kookaburras squawk, galahs shriek, kangaroos hop and cricketers curse. It is not a tea party.

Proud, democratic and aggressive, the locals are not easily impressed let alone subdued. As far as sport is concerned, it is the survival of the fittest. Australians are not interested in second place. They salute champions. Visiting teams must be strong in mind and body.

Far from arriving as warriors, England limped into town. Lacking leadership and humility, they swiftly subsided into a rabble. Locals asked to serve as net bowlers were astonished by the arguments that broke out between players and the ear burning language used.

None of these leather-flingers was raised in a nunnery. Provincial opponents were astonished by the uppity nature of incompetent members of the squad. Stewards were aghast at the fussiness of the entire party. Only Alastair Cook and Monty Panesar emerged with reputations in tact. Flintoff seemed to have more on his shoulders than Hercules.

Unimpressive

England's practise sessions have been singularly unimpressive. Even the younger players seem to be drifting. Unknown tailenders slashed at every ball they face. Support staff wander around like anxious aunts. When Michael Vaughan emerged from his net he was immediately swamped by numerous tracksuited figures. Had he just swum the channel he could not have been better attended. Not that Vaughan should have been allowed to tag along.

Cricket has no place for armchair generals. Long ago Andrew Strauss should have been appointed as permanent captain.

Ricky Ponting's side practised later in the day. They arrived promptly at lunchtime and left at five bells. In between they discussed tactics, invigorated muscles, undertook a rigorous fielding session and spent two hours in the nets.

Nor were those hours wasted. Not one wild shot was played, not one soft delivery was sent down. Resting bowlers took catches from a cradle and also paid particular attention to taking return offerings.

A small coaching group helped players develop their skills. Michael Clarke worked on his bowling, and Shane Tait sent down thunderbolts. Although not without humour, the practise was conducted almost in silence. No wonder Australia has won every match this season.

No wonder England has lost every contest, even the warmups, securing only a solitary narrow victory over the Kiwis.

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