The Hindu : Andhra Pradesh / Hyderabad News : Caught in big fat Hyderabadi weddings

Online edition of India's National Newspaper
Monday, Mar 12, 2007
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Andhra Pradesh

Andhra Pradesh - Hyderabad

Caught in big fat Hyderabadi weddings

J.S. Ifthekhar

Marriages are no more simple and people think no expense is too much for the once-in-a-lifetime event

PRESTIGE, AT WHAT COST?: Marriages have become a show of wealth in Hyderabad. A file photo: V.V. Krishnan

HYDERABAD: Marriages are made in heaven but the expenditure incurred on them could be hell. They are no longer the simple ceremony conducted at home with kith and kin lending a helping hand.

Today weddings are an elaborate affair, the celebrations spilling over several days with endless rounds of eating and merrymaking. Have money will flaunt. Hyderabadis are no exception. What about austerity and simplicity? They are welcome and sound good but go for a toss when it comes to practice.

Marry in style. That's the buzzword. The rich apart, even the middle class families think no expense is too much for the once-in-a-life-time event. More and more people are now turning to wedding planners. Marriages are meticulously choreographed in luxury hotels and suburban farmhouses. Of course the rituals are adhered to strictly -- the bride follows the groom around the sacred fire, the couple walk down the aisle and the `nikah' is performed in the mosque. This done the raucous orchestra takes over.

`Shadi ko saadi karo'. Who has not heard this oft-repeated homily of priests. But few seem to pay heed. A simple wedding today costs anywhere between Rs. 5 to 6 lakhs. And if it is of a well-heeled family, the expenditure could be upwards of Rs. 20 lakhs and much more. In a bid to ape the affluent, average families are ending up burning a hole in their pockets. The guest list has to have at least a couple of thousand people!

Money is no matter

The proprietor of a minority educational institution performed his daughter's marriage three years ago and even today it is gossiped about. Singer Sonu Nigam and a Pakistani ghazal singer were on hand to enliven the evening. The bride's ghagra alone is stated to have cost a cool Rs. 5 lakhs.

That's peanuts. NRIs are forking out a fortune to make marriage of their wards a memorable event. Money is no consideration, all that matters is glitz. The trend off late is to go for swank function halls in Secunderabad some of which cost close to Rs. 3 lakhs for an evening. Extravaganza starts right from wedding cards and continues to fancy trousseau, stage decoration, live entertainment, haute cuisine and endless rounds of cocktail.

A legislator who performed his daughter's marriage recently booked two adjacent marriage halls and had the compound wall removed to accommodate guests.

The wedding over the wall was raised again. Another went ahead and performed his daughter's marriage in a sprawling MCH indoor stadium!

The other day Chief Minister Y.S. Rajasekhara Reddy expressed concern at the extravagant marriages and termed them social evil.

Organisations like the Tirumala Tirupathi Devasthanam and the Hyderabad Welfare Society are doing their bit to conduct mass marriages of poor girls. But more philanthropists need to join the effort.

Stark reality

Three years ago when the All-India Muslim Personal Law Board held its meeting in Hyderabad it was resolved to run a campaign for bringing simplicity into Muslim marriages. But within a week after the meeting one of the board members threw a lavish party in his daughter's marriage.

"It was a great setback to our reform programme", admits Abdul Rahim Qureshi, board's secretary. Such efforts elsewhere have also come up a cropper as few practice what they preach.

Ask anyone and pat comes the reply extravagant marriages are evil. But few have the guts to face the social pressure and reverse the trend.

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