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Not even a ripple of excitement film reviews

Many loopholes: Zayed Khan and Tanushree Dutta in ‘Speed’

Speed (Hindi)

Cast: Urmila Matondkar, Zayed Khan, Sanjay Suri, Aftab Shivdasani

Director: Vikram Bhatt

Ever wondered about the hallmarks of a flop film? Well, it usually arrives at the box office without a ripple — and its stay is in keeping with the arrival. It boasts either faded, past-their-prime stars, or those who were never stars or even decent actors in the first place. The film is usually directed by a man living off his past.

Well, Vikram Bhatt’s “Speed” fulfils all the basics! It has been released when nobody was ready to take the plunge. And there has not been even a ripple of excitement surrounding this Urmila Matondkar-Zayed Khan-Sanjay Suri-Aftab Shivdasani starrer. As for Bhatt, may be, he does not even recall when was the last time he gave a hit!

A couple of hours of watching the film, and you realise why. There is not much in it one would recommend even to a first-time watcher.

No, not even Urmila, who as the kidnapped wife of an intelligence agent, is all puffed up with garish make-up, and a couple of frightened expressions that never seem to leave her once-lovely face. Forget “Rangeela” which seems ancient history, even “Pinjar” and “Banaras” seem a distant memory. More is the pity, considering that in recent years Urmila has been bold enough to pick up roles which challenge her to step beyond the stereotype. This one here though has probably been done to stave off boredom, emanating from lack of choice.

But why harp on poor Urmila in what is essentially a rip-off, and a poor one at that? Bhatt probably watched “The Cellular”, and liked what he watched. Then decided, hey, he could make a Hindi movie out of that. Never mind, if most of the characters here speak English for conversation, and Hindi for an excuse. We have Sanjay Suri — managing to look ruffled — as an intelligence agent, who chances upon a deadly secret: on equinox day, a tragedy is going to strike the world! Turns out, on that very day, his wife and kiddo are kidnapped.

And for some obscure reason, the kidnappers, led by the expressive as a log Aftab, leave a phone behind in the room!

That is enough for the hostage to strike a bond with Zayed Khan’s lover boy, on whose slender shoulders falls the task of saving the damsel in distress!

Not to be left out of the frame is Tanushree Dutta, more puffed up than Urmila, and less bearable.

Throw in a bid to assassinate the Indian Prime Minister in England, and Amrita Arora’s skin show! And you have the whole plot!

Confused? Yes, that was exactly the condition of the most die-hard fans who stayed the course. Frankly, except for its name, and some early momentum, the film has very little going for it. The dialogues are forgettable, the background score even more so.

And the speed of the story, is well, not quite up to the notch required for a thriller! There are too many loopholes in the tale, and the narration never quite keeps you on the edge of your seat. And music? Well, the movie is supposed to have songs, but at the end one can only faintly recall Amrita trying desperately to look sexy in an itsy-bitsy costume in a song! Lyrics? Cannot even recall!

Despite being the only Hindi film of the week, Bhatt’s film has nothing new to offer. Tried and tested, and rejected ways of filmmaking come back knocking with this film. Reject this one. It does not thrill, just kills. Let “Speed” die a natural death.

ZIYA US SALAM

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