“Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj” plays the worst kind of trick on its audience: it uses the name of a fairly successful original film to sell a thoroughly execrable spin-off with which it has nothing in common. Kal Penn reprises the role of Taj Mahal Badalandabad, which was a one-off caricature in the Ryan Reynolds original.

The Indian-American actor, best known for his roles in “The Namesake” and “Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle,” does manage to come off somewhat likeable.

The problem is that the story has so many things wrong with it that one wonders how this film even got made.

Almost all the problems begin with first-time scriptwriter David Drew Gallagher who shamelessly borrows plot points and comic sketches from a range of other teen comedies, simply replacing their American campuses with a dubious British one called Camford.

Of course, nothing in the course of the film suggests Britain, except choice phrases such as “jolly good show”, characters addressed as Earl and Lord and one field trip to the Tower of London. But redundancy and plot holes aside, “The Rise of Taj” just isn’t funny.

Keeping careful but not even mildly critical count, one could only find one funny line in the film, where Pipp Everett, the Earl of Gray, grabs a pair of swords and tells Taj that they should settle it like their ancestors did.

“You want to exploit me economically?” retorts Taj. Director Mort Nathan seems to show rare talent and perseverance in ensuring a truly catastrophic final product. And in this he is aided by actors with no chemistry whatsoever.

The film takes a life of its own, making logical and narrative jumps as and when it pleases, slowing down only for the crude jokes.

Rarely is there a movie that isn’t even worth the price of rental from the nearest video library.

But if such a list were compiled, “Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj” would probably figure highly in it.

RAKESH MEHAR

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