Kerala - Kochi   

Keeping examination fear out of homes

Need for positive attitude: De-stressing exams is a social need, says a senior psychiatrist.

KOCHI: This is the time when fear, anxiety and stress invade many homes in the State. Attendance at wedding receptions, engagements and funerals dwindles; cinema houses and concert halls become less crowded. A number of government officials go on leave for one, two or more weeks.

This is the exam time.

Lakhs of schoolchildren are in the final stages of preparation for their 12th, 10th and annual examinations that begin in March. But the anxiety — not of children’s alone, but, equally or more, of parents’ too — is mostly in homes where there is at least one kid taking the 10th or 12th standard exam.

These homes put on a sombre air. No television, no radio, no laughter. Parents pass on their anxiety about how their children will perform in the exams to everybody at home, increasing the performance anxiety and stress levels of the children. Visitors and friends find the anxiety palpable.

“De-stressing exams is a social need,” says C.J. John, a senior psychiatrist in Kochi. “An exam, of course, is a challenge, but it is a challenge like any other ones in life. Pass or fail, there is life after a 10th or 12th grade exam.” He blames the middle class for putting too much emphasis on children’s performance in exams.

The middle-class parents invest everything in, and sacrifice many things for, the children and the return on the investment is counted in terms of the marks scored. The return is assessed in terms of the child’s performance in not just the board exams but in the entrance exam too. One of the results is: an increasing number of teenagers being taken to the psychologist’s couch.

Now that an ‘exam culture’ has come to stay, the focus should be on how to tackle children’s fear and anxiety and on how to help them write the exam with confidence. For this, first, parents need to de-stress themselves and leave the exams to the children. Dr. John notes that thousands of office-goers, particularly government officials, take leave to “help children with the examinations.” Instead of helping, in most cases, these parents drive up the children’s anxiety and put additional pressures.

Parents should take a positive attitude and tell the children that ‘you can do it.’ An overall supervision and giving an occasional guideline would do in the case of most children. Comparing the child with other children and setting others as benchmarks should be strictly avoided. Self-motivation works much better than external motivation.

De-stressing the home is another step. A stress-free atmosphere should be developed at home during the exams. Anxiety before and during examinations is a natural thing for children, but keeping it within limits is important.

‘Will I perform, will I be able to score high’ becomes a constant concern, sometimes leading to physical manifestations such as tremors, sweating, lack of sleep or oversleep. Children with exam-related anxiety and stress become unduly aggressive, throw tantrums and revolt against parents. Elders should be patient enough to realise this and try not to add to the stress. De-stressing the children by themselves is another important step. Since 10th and 12th graders are already facing the problems of adolescent hormonal changes, children should go out and relax for some time everyday.

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