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Mangled syntax & Texan humour on Bush’s farewell tour

Like his syntax, U.S. President George W. Bush’s Texan humour is not always easy to get. He had journalists scratching their heads at a press conference when he said that his legacy to the world would be “multilateralism.”

“One of the things I want to leave behind is a multilateralism ...,” he said with a deadpan expression.

“Multilateralism?” journalists looked at each other. Hadn’t his administration been notorious for unilateralism? Had they heard him right? Was he serious or was it one of his famously self-deprecating jokes? A BBC reporter wondered if this was the “fastest-ever re-write of recent history” by Mr. Bush.

This happened mid-way through his two-day “farewell” visit to the U.K. (June 16-17) as he insisted that despite what the rest of the world thought about his “tactics” he believed that invading Iraq was the “right thing to do for our security, right thing to do for peace and the right thing to do for 25 million Iraqis.”

And, then, sounding a bit like his best friend ,Tony Blair, Mr. Bush grandly said that “history will judge” his actions.

Of course, it will but its verdict might be a little different.

Meanwhile, for a “farewell” tour, the mood music was embarrassingly low- key. No pomp and ceremony; no gushing tributes to the “special” transatlantic relationship; no big set speech or high-profile event.

All that Mr. Bush got was a businesslike tea with the Queen; a quiet dinner with Prime Minister Gordon Brown; and a slew of mandatory media interviews.

The whole show was so utterly devoid of any enthusiasm that even anti-war campaigners, who had run rings round him during his previous visits, did not seem much interested, perhaps reckoning that a lame-duck president, struggling in opinion polls in his own country, was not worth the bother.

There was a symbolic protest denouncing his visit but it barely registered. London has seen bigger and noisier protests —and against lesser personages — than what we saw on Sunday.

Indeed, it might have gone unnoticed had someone in the crowd with a head for news not thrown an empty can at the cops who then returned the compliment with a baton charge giving bored TV crews something to report. The evening bulletins, though, still led with the tea party at Windsor Castle, and the dinner at Downing Street.

For a man, more inclined to act rather than think, Mr. Bush appeared in a surprisingly reflective mood, talking a lot about his legacy. Was it something he had picked up from Mr. Blair, who never stops talking about his own legacy? (By the way the President strenuously denied that the former British Prime Minister had ever been his “poodle”; he was just someone who shared his worldview).

Mr. Bush confirmed that he would be writing his memoirs after his imminent retirement, and the buzz (which, naturally, he didn’t confirm) was that he was searching for a ghost-writer. Media reports speculated that the presence of some heavy-weight historians at the Downing Street dinner was Mr. Brown’s way of helping his guest with his search. It was described as a “beauty contest” of historians with the winner getting the chance to advise the President on his “legacy,” if not actually ghost-write it. The Times noted: “For some [historians] it was a chance to audition as the President’s ghost-writer …For others it was an opportunity to ponder how future generations might see the 43rd incumbent of the White House. For a minority it was all about the Churchillian menu of beef, trifle and 1934 brandy.”

One wondered though why would Mr. Bush choose a British ghost-writer when there is no dearth of neo-con scholars back home who would be glad to gild the lily for him. Maybe he thinks British historians are better. For, he did say: “Great Britain produces, great, great historians!”

Anyway, while Mr. Bush’s search for a ghost-writer continues, Mr. Blair, who has reportedly got a multi-million pound advance for his memoirs, has let it be known that he will be doing his own writing. Ghost-writers need not apply, thank you.

Mr. Bush landed in Britain amid a wave of rumours that he might go the “Blair way” — and become a Catholic. (Remember, the two prayed together at the president’s Texas ranch as they plotted the Iraq invasion?)

The rumours started after Mr. Bush had what The Daily Telegraph described as an “intimate meeting” with the Pope. It reported the Italian media as saying that, according to Vatican sources, Mr. Bush might be prepared to convert because on many “ethical” issues such as homosexuality and abortion he had a “line that is practically identical to that of the Vatican.”

One Vatican “source” was quoted as saying that Mr. Bush, who belongs to a Methodist church in Texas, was the “most Catholic-minded” American President since John F. Kennedy. And if you were looking for more straws, there was that widely reported quote from George William Rutler, a New York priest, who told The Washington Post a few months ago that Mr. Bush was “not unaware of how evangelism, by comparison with Catholicism, may seem more limited both theologically and historically.”

Finally, The Telegraph plugged the alleged significance of the venue of the Pope-Bush meeting: “They spoke for half-an-hour in the 12th century Tower of St. John, a secluded area in the Vatican gardens used by the Pope for private reflection. The usual protocol for heads of state is a meeting in the Pope’s library in the Apostolic Palace.” There was no word from Mr. Bush though he tried to shoot down that other persistent “speculation” — that it was his “last” visit.

“This is, uh, this has been a good trip. Some are speculating this is my last trip. Let them speculate. Who knows?”

What, is he planning a comeback?

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