One, when the subject of listening is discussed. Two, when others do not listen to you. You have two ears but only one mouth, probably because listening is twice as hard as talking!

If A equals success, then the formula is A equals X plus Y and Z, with X being work, Y play, and Z keeping your mouth shut,” said Albert Einstein.

Though careful listening is an integral part of effective communication, it is often neglected. Even organised training programmes in communication which focus on aspects such as writing with precision and clarity, using chosen phrases in speech, selecting the most appropriate media, and demonstrating conviction and confidence often ignore the unique role of listening. Emphasis has to be laid on listening as well.

First you have to distinguish between hearing and listening. Hearing is done with the ears, but listening with the ear and the brain put together.

A person may be staring at your face while you speak but his mind may be wandering. He may not be grasping anything you say. You may feel frustrated when he raises a doubt on something that has no relation to what you tried to convey. Speaking demands knowledge; listening demands wisdom.

You may believe that you have good listening skills and a vivid memory. If that is the case, try an experiment. Listen to a serious talk on any subject for thirty minutes and try to write out what you heard.

You may not be able to reproduce more than half of what you heard, even if you had summoned all your skills. After a week, not more than 25% would remain in your memory.

If this is the result you get after your best effort in listening, what would be the level of retention if you happen to be a casual listener? This reveals the advantage of note-taking, even if you are not a student in a conventional classroom.

How many of us realise that most people in authority may have to spend at least half of their official time in listening? They cannot just go on issuing orders or disseminating directives. The need for new rules, regulations, or practice is realised from the feedback received from others. A great tragedy lies in the fact that the feedback may be in the form of ineffective oral communication. The real spirit of the message may not therefore be firmly implanted in the mind of the person wielding authority. The consequent lack of appreciation of facts or views leads to further complaints on inaction or inadequate response.

You are familiar with schoolmasters shouting, “Listen, Listen.” Are there ways to improve your listening skills? There are many ways to do it. Some of the points noted below are relevant only while listening to a speech or presentation.

Decide that your listening skills have to be improved upon. If you are obsessed with the idea that your listening skills are at their peak, there is no way anyone can help you. The first step is, therefore, to accept that you have some deficiency in the matter. You have to work for improvement.

Realise that listening is an active skill. Many are under the impression that listening is a passive activity, with little effort on the part of the listener.

You must know that ideas do not automatically flow into your mind if you simply look at the speaker and lend him your ears.

There has to be a conscious effort on the part of the listener to grasp the ideas of the speaker. Information, being intangible, can be received well only by an active listener. Be prepared to listen and do some homework wherever necessary.

Right prior knowledge, a receptive attitude, and rapt attention are essential for effective comprehension through listening.

Develop interest in the subject. Try to find out how the information or knowledge that is being disseminated can be useful to you. Where and how can you gainfully utilise it should be contemplated. Deliberately develop interest in the subject. One simple way of achieving it is to look at the speaker with an interested expression. You should not try to oppose mentally the ideas being presented, even if they are against your views.

You can see whether there is any element of wisdom that has not struck you so far. Whether you would debate on some point later is another matter.

One poor expression or dim-witted idea from a speaker should not dissuade you from further listening; any generalisation based on one flaw is not logical or reasonable. Such a hasty generalisation will completely block further listening.

“Your faces contain most of the receptive equipment in your bodies, so it is only natural that you should tilt your faces towards the channel of information.” You might have heard the story of a young boy who was fed up with his indifferent father who would not look at the son while the son was speaking. The father would mostly be looking into a newspaper, and not listening. The frustrated boy asked the father, “Please take away the paper and look into my eyes as I speak.” Eye contact can be followed by non-verbal signals indicating reception.

In one-to-one communication, you can make sounds that confirm an interest in the dialogue, and ask short questions. It is sometimes said that one way of listening well is to act like a good listener. If you find that you drift away during a listening session, try to change your posture or body position, move your legs, or tell yourself that you have to concentrate on listening.

Look for significant ideas. A speaker may mix facts with his views or opinions. You should be able to sift out facts from the rest. There may be arguments to establish his views or convictions. They may be disputable. Every argument may not contain evidence supporting what is stated. A critical listener will not be carried away by fallacious arguments or deceptive analysis. In any case you should not miss the core points being brought out by the speaker.

Most speakers repeat significant points often using different phrases. This gives you the clue for the true message. Good speakers give a summary towards the end of their speech, at which time you can confirm the points.

Keep your concentration at its peak. In any environment there would be distractions which have to be resisted deliberately. The distraction may be internal, when you think of something else, though you are looking into the eyes of the speaker. Liberate yourself from distractions and focus your attention on the speaker and his message.

Take lecture notes. This has two advantages. The first is that you preserve what you hear for future reference. The second advantage lies in the fact that note-taking forces you to listen. One point of caution is that taking notes should not be at the expense of listening. Never attempt full sentences or be a stickler for grammar during note-taking. If you miss one point, leave a blank and go ahead with what is being heard. The gap can be filled later either by asking the speaker after the speech or preferably during the question time through a carefully planned question.

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