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Photo: K.R. Deepak

SHARING VIEWS: When you talk, either you or the others should benefit from it.

Etymology connects the word ‘gossip’ to the early 17th Century, wherein politicians used to instruct their assistants to ‘go-sip’ beer, listen to conversations, collect public opinions and report it back to their masters. And that turned into ‘gossip’.

Every human being wants to talk and share his feelings, criticise or impress others with his wisdom. A child comes home and tells everything that happened at school that gives him a feeling of security and love. Later at the “I am ok; you are not ok” stage, the desire to talk shifts from parents to friends.

According to Freud, a child develops ‘ID’ from birth, which otherwise is called immediate fulfilment of desire. For example, a child cannot bear hunger for more than a few minutes and starts crying.

Excess talk and unnecessary conversations are also the effect of ID. As age progresses human beings develop ‘Super-ego’ (discipline and ethics). Ego-strength balances both ID and super ego. People with strong ego -- strength to converse only when it is absolutely necessary and know when, where, how and why to talk.

Animated arguments and convincing others with your point of view (about your ideal he or she, success or failure of a film etc) certainly give pleasure as excess adrenaline is released into the body.

But chatting and discussions can also be productive. Here is an example. Instead of telling your friend the story of recently seen movie, you can tell Ramayana and the discuss the hidden principles and ethics in it.

Never promise anything when you are in the most joyous mood- is the first moral. King Dasaratha did the same mistake when he offered three boons to his third wife. Sita demanding Rama the golden deer preaches another principle: ‘Don’t fall for illogical temptations’. Never take a decision when rage overtakes you.

Ravana kidnapped other’s wife losing his emotional balance under the influence of his sister’s provocation. These are only a few to quote from Ramayana.

When you talk, either you or the others should benefit from it. The gain may be to the brain (learning or sharing wisdom) or to the heart (humorous conversations, jokes, songs etc).

“Others may think you are a stupid when you don’t talk: but don’t confirm it by arguing,” said Bernard Shaw.

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