Monster buffet
Do flying creatures that munch humans for lunch still excite you? Hollywood never seems to get tired of mean old monster movies.
`The Cave' is just an assembly-line export reject, hoping to find takers in a CAS-inflicted regime where STAR Movies and HBO come at a price. But that's taking optimism too far. For, movie channels give you one such monster film every day a month for the same price of a cinema ticket.
`The Cave' is, at best, a crash course on monster movies for dummies.
The cast: Get some guys who've done supporting roles in some popular movies. Get guys who don't mind getting killed after a minute or two and women who look good and scream well. Also one black American to make sure its representative of population, it keeps the brothers happy.
The storyline: A bunch of people venture into a cave only to end up as lunch.
But for the main guy and the girl (and sometimes, just one more friend) everybody else becomes a part of the monster buffet.
And even after they escape, the monsters surface before the end credits to announce a sequel.
Treatment: Hire a game addict and give him a deadline of 100 minutes to write a script. All he needs to do is to transcribe a monster videogame. Get a visual effects guy for a director.
People go to watch a monster movie for the effects. Nothing else matters.
Or at least that's what the makers of this film seem to believe.
To director Bruce Hunt's credit, the visual effects for `The Cave' do rock. But there's no other reason to venture in.
SUDHISH KAMATH
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