Reflections on the still waters
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Music and the Almighty have always blended as Ustad Bismillah Khan's life force. As he becomes physically weaker, this force blazes ever brighter.
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I will be back with more pure notes. What dies does not disappear. It remains in the universe.
NO LOOKING BACK! Ustad Bismillah Khan , the beloved doyen of the shehnai.
He is sick and fed up of worldly affairs. Someone comes to him and takes his word to give a performance in front of India Gate, New Delhi, and he forgets. His spokesman releases some foolish statement that he will perform with Pandit Ravi Shankar and Lata Mangeshkar, and they deny it. When I ask him what actually happened, he clarifies, "Main kyon kahunga aaisa? Ye mere naam se chhapta hai ki main aisa bol raha aur paisa maang raha, lekin haquiqat Khuda jaanta hai. Ab main aur kuch nahi chahta sivaye iske ki maut ho to meri, meri mausiqui ki nahi." (Why should I say such a thing? Things get published on my behalf, that I said something, or I asked for money, but God knows the truth. Now I don't want anything except that I should die, but my music should never die.)
Hence with his intuitive sanctity, Ustad Bismillah Khan is passing through the last stages of his life.
He is sick, yes, but more tired by his family and worldly idiosyncrasies. Recently, due to his chronic illness, he was not able to go out but was in a mood to share something secret with Gautam Chatterjee.
Memory
He can recall everything from his past, but the present happenings refuse to register on his brain. "Yaar main bhul ja raha hun.... Naam, batein, kis se kya kaha. Apke saath agar aisa ho to hamen maaf karna, lekin baat kya hai jo bavajood iske main Khuda ko ek pal bhi nahi bhul paata! Ye usi ki nemat hai ki main yahaan ki baaten bhul ja raha taaki wahaan ki taiyari pukhta ho sake..." (I am forgetting everything... People's names, what was said, to whom I said what. Excuse me if I do the same with you. Yet what is it that in spite of everything I never forget the Almighty even for a second! It is truly due to His blessings that I am allowed to forget the things of this world and prepare for the world to come.)
He is no longer worried about the future of his family, as he realises it is all up to destiny. Day by day, Khan Saheb's mortal body, including his brain cells, loses strength, yet his sensitivity and susceptibility towards humanity and towards the almighty remain as fresh as in his youth.
"Is parivar mein apni taqdeer leke aye hain. Main kyon khamkhah pareshan hota rahun lekin hota hun. Zindagi bhar tarasta raha ki inshaAllah ek to sahi sur lag jaaye! Gar laga hai to uski meherbaani. Agli baar fir lautunga aapki khidmat mein sahi sur lagaane. Naseeb waalon ka hi lagta hai sahi sur. Jo beet jaata hai wo guzar nahin jaata. Rah jaata hai quaynaat mein. Rah jaayega sab kuch is aasman pe." (All are born into this family with their own destiny. Why should I worry? But I do worry. All my life I have been seeking the pure note. If I managed to play it, it was by the grace of God. I will be back, next time, with more pure notes. Only the fortunate are allowed the grace of hitting the pure notes. What dies does not disappear.It remains in the universe. Every note will remain in this sky).
Bharat Ratna Shehnai maestro Ustad Bismillah Khan is ill.
Where others see con.ict and contradiction between Bismillah Khan's music and his religion, Ustad ji sees only a divine unity. Music, sur, namaaz is the same thing for him. His namaaz consists of the seven shuddh and .ve komal surs. Even as a devout Shia, Khan Sahib is also a staunch devotee of Saraswati, the Hindu Goddess of Music.
Sitting on his almost two decade-old khatia on the second .oor of his dilapidated house at Sarai Harha in the temple town Varanasi, he fails to control his emotional tears. His health is rapidly deteriorating at the time of going to the press, with the doctors on roundthe- clock vigil and providing intravenous .uids. Almost 60 years after India's Independence _ the day he played the shehnai on the ramparts of the historical Red Fort on August 15, 1947 _ he has an open invitation to serenade the warriors and soldiers who sacri.ced their lives for the motherland at India Gate.
Almost every member of his family is busy administering him medicine towards his good health and early recovery.
Neena Jha, who has collaborated with Shivnath Jha to bring out the recently published monograph on Bismillah Khan, spoke to the maestro at his bedside a little before his condition worsened. The following are excerpts from the conversation:
Q. Do you know that people across the country and the world are praying for your good health and early recovery?
A. Oh! They like me very much. I also like them. Sab Vishwanath ki kripa hai.
Q. Why you have kept your shehnai behind your pillow?
A. She is my wife. After the death of my wife almost 14 years back, I used to keep it behind my pillow. It inspires me. It gives me power to think about the ragas and music.
Q. Have you stopped practice?
A. I am still practicing. I am trying to produce a new raga to give badhai to the warriors, soldiers and others who have sacri- .ced their lives for the sake of the motherland at India Gate.
Q. Do you wish to visit Vishwanath temple, Mangala Devi?
A. Oh! Yes. But it is not possible now. I spent a major part of my life worshipping in Benaras temples including Balaji, Mangala Devi and others. If you have faith in God you simply touch the stone of the temple. You will feel a great power.
Q. At 91 how do you see music?
A. You can't see music. You simply feel it. I have felt it for more than nine decades. Now it is your time, the time of your generation to feel it.
Q. Khan Sahib how do you see the religions?
A. There is no religion, or caste. You call it religion, I say it's music, you call it caste, I say it's sur. Music is my religion, music is my caste.
Do you think the Bharat Ratna award came late?
A. No. I don't think after me and Lata Mangeshkar, the government has awarded anyone with Bharat Ratna. Yeh mere liye bahut bara sammaan hai.
Sab Allah ki meharbani hai. But I can say Lata is Lata. No one can replace her even today. She has a magic in her voice. There was also Begum Akhtar. I still remember those days. We (me and my wife) were asleep once about two decades or more, it was midnight. Somewhere, someone was playing one of the Begum's records "Deewana Bana De".
I suddenly woke up enjoying the song. I woke my wife up. Ka. gussa gayee_.aadhi raat mein kya ho raha hai? I told her, yeh tumharey samajh se baahar hai_.get lost.
Q. You used this language to your wife?
A. Yes. She was my wife. I loved her very much. Next day I came to know that what I heard in the middle of the night last night was not a record but Begum Akhtar herself singing. I can't forget that night.
Q. What is the background of the composition of "Dil Ka Khilona Hai Tut Gaya" of "Gunj Uthi Shehnai" which you composed?
A. Oh! Tumney to purane din yaad dila diye. Yes, I composed it. I don't bother what people say about it. But, main dil se kahta hun_.aaj pura vishwa is geet ka mazaa leta hai__kabhi aisa geet nahin ban paya.
Q. Khan sahib, several musicians of your age have achieved name, fame, money and what not, why do you prefer Benaras?
A. Allah-ho-Akbar. Can you live without your mother? Can you live without your friends? Can you live without your relatives? I like Benaras. I like Vishwanath temple, I like my family. I have a big family and I want to die before them.
Q. So, you are not bothered with money.
A. No, certainly not. Ask them what they get without family?
Q. After you, who will take care of your shehnai?
A. My sons. Though they have not done adequate training and riyaaz, however, I am sure they will continue it.
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