Online edition of India's National Newspaper
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
Published on All days
Online edition of India's National Newspaper Wednesday, August 25, 2004 |
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Life Hyderabad Published on All days |
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Hard cash, cruel joke Best bet Fevicol solution Money, which can be taken anytime, can be hidden in high heels, shoes, socks, secret pockets in your inner wear, your car's dickey, in the folds of your handkerchief or between the pages of books - indigenous ATMs. For current accounts, you can ... No loss more gain Use a Harry Potter wand and make your money and other valuables invisible to others. Or invest the money in tele-serials, as they never end. Deposit the money in corporate hospitals and colleges where there will be no loss. Tree-top locker Just spend Rs.500 plus and voila you can have a bank of your own installed instantly in your backyard, thanks to Mr. Ganu of Hortus Consultants! Buy a neem or banyan tree huge enough to look bushy and have it transplanted. Keep cash and ... No gas this! Install giant-size... err... god-size Ganesh idols ala `Devudu chesina manushulu' and make use of his large belly. Empty vessels make much noise. This old proverb is no longer valid. If you are in the cooking business, all those large vessels ... Cash on auto consultants Auto consultants can keep the money beneath the battery compartment of their vehicles. Tutorial college principals can keep it under the encyclopaedia on their bookshelves while realtors can hide in the look-alike water sumps in the northeast ... LJTV - one hell of a combo Why not the Government set up a national bank under the leadership of Lalu Prasad as bank manager and Jayalalithaa as cashier, Telgi as accountant and Veerappan as watchman. No one will even dare to dream about stealing this money. Another ... Veerappan are you there? Saving money for your daughter's marriage? Then deposit with Veerappan's kidnap-back policy with special perfumed interest. No chance of losing it! Another safe place is Government files. No need to fear about anyone discovering it. Nearer to ... The base of it all People should bring pressure on the Government to establish a big cellar in every town with safes, locks and security. In the midst of police vigilance, people's hard-earned money is safe and they won't mind for not getting interest. They ... Bank on Swiss safety Follow the ancient technique of `lanke bindelu.' Keep all your money in steel or brass containers, seal them properly, dig a deep ditch in the house and bury them safely. In emergency or important occasions, take them out without anyone seeing ... Fill it, shut it, reap it Make large donations to two or three political parties. You are sure to reap the benefit when the particular party comes to power. Or, find companies run by crooks protected by politicians or politicians protected by crooks, and invest in ... Flush with gain Do you have a flush tank in your toilet, which is out of use? If so, that will be the best secure place to keep your money safe and protected. None of the thieves will search there. But be careful and don't reveal this secret to anybody else till ... Cave times are better We are talking about hiding money personally. Make a cave in the backyard and hide the money. Or put the money inside your bed and stitch it. Make a locker personally in your house wall and maintain it. Buy a big doll, and put the money inside ... Homely ATM Purchase an ATM machine and install it in your house. Load it in the beginning of the month and finish it by the end of the month. Or set up a cooperative bank using causin.co.in and appoint fair looking MBA girls in place of bank probationary ... Rotate to peace Keeping the money safe is very difficult. So don't hide it, instead spend it every day and enjoy. No money, no tension. This is the best policy. Rotate the strike, every day with a fresh and empty hand. This is the real way to gain peace. ... Gotta fake it Get some fake notes and imitation jewellery and keep them in your almirah while keeping the real money in the kitchen or drawing room. The booty that the thieves steal from the almirah is fake, and your savings will be ... Key to saving Why worry if the banks are closing down or the rate of interest is coming down every year? Deposit with the good old money lender. I am sure he has learnt enough of lessons and he will be more honest than our cooperative ... It stinks? So what! Hide your money in the lakebed of the Hussainsagar. The horrible smell will keep away all thieves. Or ask your mom or wife to keep the money inside the salt and pepperbox. Ssshh... koi hai? Divide your khazana and keep them in freezers, air-coolers, CPUs etc. Hi-tech safety. Sshh... koi sunnena paaye. |