SLICE OF LIFE
Golden jubilee
V. GANGADHAR
WHEN marriages last, they go unnoticed. The tabloids blaze forth only about divorce and separation! I was getting irritated over the excessive publicity given to the separation of Hollywood stars, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anniston and the domestic problems of soccer star, David Beckham because of his alleged extramarital affairs. Why should we bother with such trivia?
Then came the good news, the golden wedding anniversary of my elder sister, Gomathi, now in Mysore. How time flies! I could not believe they have been married for 50 years. Wryly, I remembered how I had accompanied them (unwanted) to their first film together, a horror film, "Them" in which the world was taken over by giant ants. Not the proper film for a newly married couple.
Holding together
In my best journalistic style, I asked Gomathi what was the most important factor that held the marriage together. "Courage," she replied. "Courage to face any kind of difficult situation together with my husband. And, of course, total mutual trust." When I asked my brother-in-law, he immediately replied, "My belief in the vows I took on the day of the marriage."
Along with these, I should add, adapting oneself to new situations. My sister, the daughter of a senior government officer, was accustomed to living in government bungalows, travelling in cars and being served by cooks and servantsAfter her marriage, she left for distant Ahmedabad where, in cramped accommodation, she learnt to light the stove, cook, keep house and bring up children. All with a smile. The house bubbled with laughter in the company of friends who named the couple after the Guru Dutt film of that year, "Mr. and Mrs. 55".
A good time
The cramped accommodation, the job frustrations, the perennial shortage of money did not affect them. I lived with them for sometime. We often went out, played badminton in the mill at night, socialised and had a jolly good time. Yet handling a lovable, though absent-minded, husband and the children could not have been easy. The husband was away at work and the wife had to manage the home and the children. Their family problems were never revealed to others, including relatives. "Why bother others with our problems?" she asked. "We went down South once in two years or so, smiled and laughed and people thought we had no problems at all. We let that impression prevail."
The children, two daughters and a son, were a joy. They studied well, did not make any demands and realised their responsibilities from a young age. What more can one ask for? Today, they are well off and ready to take care of the parents. After the first flush of togetherness in a marriage, it was the role and attitude of the children, which counted in the happiness of the couple.
Happy memories
The 50 years of marriage was like a dream and its happy memories can never fade. Whenever we meet we talk about the Ahmedabad days. Life was not easy, there were no luxuries of any kind but who needed them?
There are 16 more years for the golden jubilee of my own wedding. Am I looking forward to it? I don't think that far. Who knows, I may do yet another "Slice of Life" on that happy event when it finally arrives. Marriages are not made in Heaven but very much in this world.
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