THE OTHER HALF
No civilised debate
KALPANA SHARMA
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Is it at all possible to discuss issues without getting vicious and personal?
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Photo: G. Krisnaswamy
Against violence: Can they hope for a better tomorrow?
WE have just been through a torrid fortnight with the debate about racism and reality shows dominating the media. Shilpa Shetty could not have asked for an easier short-cut to fame. Without once again going over old ground, the controversy has raised several important questions that will continue to be discussed not just about the role of the media but about the kind of debate the media generates on important issues. Has the media contributed to a polarisation of positions and stances, just because it makes better, more entertaining television? Has this resulted in a loss of middle ground, an inability to discuss issues without getting vicious and personal? Or is the media merely mirroring the reality of growing intolerance?
The loss of civilised debate also results in a loss of perspective. Of course, there are always two sides, or even more than that, to any debate. But should we give equal weightage in the media to every side or should we maintain a perspective? For instance, take the subject of global warming. When the first alarm bells were rung by thousands of scientists who suspected that human actions were resulting in a rise in the earth's temperature that could have devastating consequences, the media tended to pit this large body of scientific evidence against individual scientists who expressed doubts about global warming. The two were given equal weightage in an effort at "balanced" reporting. How wrong such equivalence was is now evident as global warming becomes a reality that cannot be ignored.
Importance of perspective
The issue of violence against women is similar in some ways. Women of all ages, races, classes, religions around the world experience violence at home, at the work place, in the public space, at the hand of the law enforcers who are supposed to "protect" us — from childhood to adulthood and beyond. Those who write, campaign and highlight these realities do not deny that there are a few instances when it is men who are harassed by women. They also do not deny that caste and class can sometimes give women an unfair advantage over men that supersedes the inherent disadvantages of gender.
But even as there are exceptions to any rule, the overwhelming evidence indicates that by far the largest number of victims of gender-related violence is women.
Against this background, the vicious anger of a group of men who feel women have wronged them seems to be out of proportion with the reality. It also appears to be part of a larger campaign aimed to bring about changes in Indian society.
Some weeks ago, I mentioned in this column that ever since I wrote favourably about the Domestic Violence Act, my mailbox has been inundated with mail from a variety of people — all men — who believe I have got it all wrong. Initially, the mails were angry and badly written. But lately, they have become personal and vicious. For instance, I had quoted the response of a father who despaired at having a daughter and wished his wife and he had used sex selective abortion. In response, I got at least one mail suggesting that my parents would have been better off if they had done that with me to prevent someone like me from being born at all.
I quote below a few examples of these mails...
A Situ Mistry wrote: "I live in the U.S. and let me assure you the society out here has failed unless the only measure you have is of economic success... women's so-called liberation has produced a nation high on drugs, disturbed children, 50 per cent divorce rates, consistent cheating and yes more violence... this whole concept of trying to replace patriarchy with matriarchy is as silly as Lallu being rewarded for turning the railways around... India and Indians are at currently being colonised using tired and failed Western ideas of women's liberation... economic success seems to be the only event that motivates Indians now... sexual freedom and the right to become Indra Nooyi will mean that women have been liberated... shame on you...you arouse tremendous disgust..."
Swarup Sarkar is even more specific when he writes (I have corrected some of the typographical and grammatical errors): "A sadist women journalist can't look behind the allegation and as a result they do not find any solution. But please understand, all journalist are not like you, yes some journalist are by born men hater (sic), that does not mean all journalist will be men hater... Small advice, became good journalist first and right (sic) something on constructive purpose... "
And Buzzy Blore adds: "I and my family will sincerely pray that you're (sic) Brothers, Sons and Daughters (if you are a women and have any of them to prove your womanhood) are tortured and victimised by the very same wrong laws that you are supporting even after knowing that its wrong and that you helplessly watch them being destroyed and your dreams shattering and you being a cause of it."
Game plan
Mystified by these personal attacks, I finally got one mail that attempted to explain what lay behind the campaign of emails and articles in the press and advised me not to ignore "men's activism":
"Please note, they are not a bunch of fools. Many of them are from IITs and IIMs. Many are also NRIs. They work in a very calculated manner... These guys follow certain management principles, game theory etc. to carry out there activism... You have rightly pointed out about rampant female foeticide in India. Right? But, in the Southern States the Gender Ratio is better than International Gender Ratio. The SIF (Save Indian Family) activists are waiting for the female foeticide issue to engulf the country and religious organisations. Then they have a plan to turn tables on feminists by calling for "Anti-Abortion" laws just like 15 States in U.S. Being frustrated by female foeticide activism by feminists, the government and religious will suddenly turn to pass a bill sometime in 2008 to ban abortion or put measures to stop abortion. So, the masculists (sic) will succeed in turning a `feminist offensive onto feminists themselves'."
I rest my case.
Email the writer: ksharma@thehindu.co.in
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