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Magazine
Life
Adoption FAQ
KALA KRISHNAN RAMESH
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The book is not only well-researched but makes for a good read too.
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Adoption, C.K. Meena and Padma Subbaiah, Dronequill Publishers, 2007, p.167, Rs. 250
C.K. Meena and Padma Subbaiah’s Adoption is the book to turn to if you have any questions about adoption in India; it is not only thorough, well-organised and written with clarity and elegance, but also a surprisingly good read.
Adoption’s subtitle, What, Why, When, How, is apt, because it is a “Frequently Asked Questions” kind of book; as the chapter titles show, it addresses questions of whether to adopt, how to adopt, the legal aspects of adoption, how to cope with possible emotional and behavioural problems, agencies dealing with adoption, the issues in inter-country adoption, etc.
The two authors of Adoption have done an excellent job of co-writing: the experience as well as the first draft appears to have come from Padma Subbaiah, who “worked in the field of woman and child welfare for over 20 years... was responsible for placing older children in adoption, and pioneering the foster care programme in Karnataka”.
Comprehensive look
C.K. Meena, who has been a journalist since the 1970s, is also a published novelist and newspaper columnist; her editing and writing contributions are evident throughout the book (one suspects that droll constructions like “Amar’s Katha” are probably hers!). The two authors are able to look at adoption both from the inside — with Padma’s experience — and the outside — with Meena’s journalist’s eye.
Adoption begins with the story of a sixty-year-old woman’s travails in trying to overcome childlessness; some years after marriage, realising that she could not conceive, the woman got her husband married to another woman; the second wife bore a child but then the husband and she threw the first wife out saying that a barren woman’s touch was not good for the baby. The first wife, by then 60, actually managed to have a baby through artificial means, only to have the boy drown in a bucket of water. The lesson of the story, Adoption explains, is: “Just imagine for a moment that the couple had adopted a child when the woman was in her late twenties or thirties, the story would have ended right there, with no bigamy or the heart break that resulted”.
Fascinating scenarios
The situations described in the book are fascinating, and you will find yourself reading with the same absorption as you might a mystery or thriller; Padma has lived these stories, seeing and counselling so many adoptive parents and children and keeping track of their lives over so many years. There are stories of women who adopted children in order to gain control over property or money; there are stories of helpless women forced to abandon their children; there are stories of children who struggle with overwhelming feelings of being abandoned and conquer them; there are stories of adopted children and parents who bond without a problem, and of those who have to struggle with it, there are stories of adopted children who go out of the country and come back later to find the “dark part of life…which is still a mystery” and more.
All through its pages, Adoption stresses the point that the process of adoption is not an instant process; on the contrary, it requires the same kind of preparation that rearing biological children requires; you have to work towards harmony and peace, to struggle with problems as and when they arise. But more than anything else, those who are adopting need to start out knowing that while it’s not going to be easy and that while they may not always get approval from society, the adoption agencies are always there to help, counsel and advise.
Adoption is a book for many kinds of people, as the opening chapter says: “If you are unable to conceive and want to adopt, this book is for you. If you do not want to have children of your own but only want to adopt them; if you already have children and want to adopt some as well; if you are an unmarried woman who wants to adopt a child — why this book is for you as well.”
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