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Magazine
REJOINDER
Shared concerns
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Vijay Nagaswami responds to Ashley Tellis’ “Representations of homosexuality”, published last week.
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I was bemused by Ashley Tellis’ response (“Representations of Homosexuality”, Magazine, September 21) to my article titled “Gay but not carefree” (Magazine, September 14). Over the last 25 years, I have worked in psychot
herapy with a fair number of gays and lesbians who have afforded me a lot of insights on the mental health and relationship issues associated with homosexuality, which is indeed what my piece was all about. However, since I have been charged with, among other things, spreading “rather old misconceptions and misinformation about homosexuality”, presenting pointless “laundry lists” and taking “absurd positions”, I am left with little choice but to joining Mr. Tellis in picking some nits.
The absence of an anti-gay lobby hardly matters in a society where homophobia is the norm. In fact, to quote Mr. Tellis, the “very serious violences that gay men, lesbians, hijras and same-sex indentified men and women face in this country, from the family, the community and the State, forcing them to depression, trauma, injury and suicide”, is adequate testimony to this. Section 377 is the power tool that is wielded against homosexuality even though the statute is not explicitly against gayness. It is my position, as it seems to be his, that it needs to be repealed.
Having lamented that “homosexuality is alive and well as a sickness in the popular imagination”, Mr. Tellis takes exception to my position that homosexuality falls in the realm of “natural” or “normal” behaviour. This popular perception of homosexuality as a sickness will change only when people stop referring to it as “alternative sexuality” and see it as “normal sexuality” (even though Mr. Tellis claims that “no sexuality is natural”), and start seeing gays and lesbians as simply “people” and not “them”. This is indeed the point I am making when I say that society has “no choice but to address the issue of homosexuality seriously today for, there are far too many lesbians and gay people in the world who are articulately refusing to be marginalised”, (not “claiming to be marginalised” as Mr. Tellis distorts). In saying this I don’t imply that “numerically smaller minorities do not matter” as he concludes. I am saying that when a sub-population achieves a critical mass, they start being accorded legitimacy, which is exactly what civil and civilised society needs to do on the issue of homosexuality.
Choices
While I have no doubt that homosexuality exists in response to inner dictates (in other words, sexual preference is innate), the kind of lifestyle an individual adopts is a matter of choice that is, sadly, forced upon gays and lesbians by virtue of living in a homophobic environment that views homosexuality as a sickness. They should never have to make a choice about whether to be “openly” gay or not; but they still have to. When I say that “homosexuality is not only about sex. It is more about relationships”, I do so not, as Mr, Tellis imagines, “to placate heterosexual civilisation”, but to drive home the point that committed relationships are as possible between homosexuals as they are between heterosexuals. Where I was remiss, and I am thankful to Mr. Tellis for pointing this out, is in omitting to acknowledge that many homosexuals are “single, incredibly happy and lead very fulfilling lives”, thereby implying that people without committed relationships are unlikely to lead fulfilled lives. This is certainly not true.
In the final analysis, I need to reassure Mr. Tellis and those who have read my piece in the manner he has, that I share the concern that gayness needs to be represented in the media with responsibility and sensitivity. However, I also do believe that many heterosexuals too can be genuinely sensitive to and insightful about the experiences of gays and lesbians. I have always had reason to believe that I was one such. And going by my inbox that is chockfull of e-mail from uncertain, as well as confident gay men, who enjoyed and appreciated reading the same article, I still have reason to believe I am no purveyor of misinformation on homosexuality.
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