That's life
Everyone’s in a relationship
INDU BALACHANDRAN
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It can be a little unsettling learning to deal all over again with a new person in one’s life…
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I recently got into a very serious relationship, with a person I’d barely met.
In fact it began in a crowded room, and was a kind of relationship-at-first-sight. “Hello! I’m your new Relationship Manager!” said the smiling stranger, way younger than me. I was in a bank, frantically looking around for the familiar bank officer who’d always jumped to attend to me, from changing a torn 50 rupee note to changing my savings account balance into higher earning deposits with fancy names.
I panicked. But where did my previous relationship vanish?
“He’s transferred to our Calicut branch. Now what can I do for you?” said the new man in my life.
I had to sit down for a while. Did my Previous One leave me for another woman with more money than me? Was her customer profile more interesting than mine? Or her assets more attractive? I felt as blank as a new cheque book.
I recall how I had listened with much amusement when I first got a call from my bank a few years ago, and a voice had said “I’m your Relationship Manager”. Indeed! That did sound like a real life agony aunt. Or in this case, an agony uncle.
But soon it felt great to be greeted with a special welcoming smile every time I entered the bank. And what a relationship it was! He’d remember anniversaries (“M’am, it’s one year since you began this recurring deposit”) He’d infuse fresh interest into our conversations (“M’am… RBI has enhanced interest rates…”). He’d bring balance to my disorganised life (“Your savings balance stands at Rs. 87,243.42 paise”). He’d even give me unexpected gifts (free tickets to a Shah Rukh blockbuster in town), and never ever forget my birthday (he’d fill out fresh forms without asking me for my date of birth, though I wish he wouldn’t remember the year so readily…).
Now I looked at my new bank buddy like a nervous teen on a blind date. But he was already trying to sweep me off my feet. Well sweep my money actually — by persuading me to immediately put my savings into a sweep-in facility which was a linked term deposit with a unique quantum optima feature…While I nodded most intelligently, I never understood a word of course, except that he was going to make me a little more money than before. So I agreed to “just sign in these three places I have marked with XXXs” (ooh! he had a romantic side too), and he would do all the rest. And a brand new relationship started happening, just like that.
Well, I must say that he is an officer — and a gentleman. He walks me all the way to the door and even opens it. He is ever smiling and polite, even when I goof up yet again while writing out a cheque, and write the amount where it says “Pay”, and the person’s name where it says “the sum of rupees”…and gently helps me turn over a new leaf.
He may be way younger, but he’s very mature, just like my FDs will be shortly.
He understands when my earning power is not keeping up with my yearning power and makes a timely phone call when my account is about to be overdrawn.
He gives me gold cards with Privileged Customer written on them, gets me preferential forex rates, and has even gently started preparing for my golden years of retirement lately with some fancy-sounding mutual fund investments. (I don’t even have to readtheofferdocumentcarefullybefore investing).
Here is a relationship that is specially made for sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer….
Till debt do us part.
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