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INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY

Power Unlimited

It was a milestone ride to empowerment. A young girl driving a scooter, a little unsteadily, with mom on the pillion. How long ago was it: 10 years? It meant the girl was free to drive down roads, stop for petrol in a strange place, do her shopping u naccompanied, visit friends at will. It was the gift of mobility; more significantly, it was a trip to liberation for mom.

In 2008, the girl swings her Scorpio round a dangerous kerb even as mom and a brood of aunt, grandma and nieces squeal in pride. The girl now has a handy tool: her cell phone. Mobility and communication. The family was forced to press the mobile in her hand, even before she took her school-final exams. “My parents want to know where I am,” said a girl chatting with friends on the beach. “I keep it switched off.”

Sure, gender cleansing is now a frightening reality. Girls are killed before or at birth, plunging the all-India sex ratio to 927 girls for 1,000 boys. If she survives, the girl cannot assume she’ll get a fair share of the family’s education budget. But she can be reasonably sure she will be molested — by the teacher, by a trusted relative, by a stranger. Chances are she will drop out; to look after her siblings, to cook at home, to work in the fields, to be married off for money. She might be “gifted” to a temple.

Marriages may be made in heaven, for the Indian girl/woman it is lived in hell. “Dowry death”, a term we gave the English lexicon, is not in danger of fading out of use. Thanks to sophisticated ultrasound technology, a woman has abortions forced on her till she is pregnant with a male child. “The only women likely to keep their daughters are the truly independent-minded, not just the financially independent,” said author Gita Aravamudan.

Bypassing these, if she reaches the workplace, she can hope for unequal pay and harder work; lack of negotiating skills and desperate need for cash leaving her vulnerable.

It is misleading to say that India doesn’t value her women. We know: she will willingly sign up for the drudgery of household work. When she earns, money comes home in full, or goes into saving. We know of her resilience, ability to raise a family, find happiness somewhere and keep her sanity somehow. All of which is excellent fodder for exploitation. Why would men want them if they were inefficient and incapable of managing?

Out of this tangled mess has emerged the New Woman; a woman “pushing against the limits society imposed on her”. With an identity no longer defined by domesticity or relationships, she now comes across as a person with a strong sense of self and self worth.

A woman taking a tough stand for her rights is no shrew but a woman of substance while a female globetrotter is no adventuress but a woman of spirit.

In short, women are going where men fear to tread. “When I studied chemical engineering more than two decades ago, I was the only girl in a class of 100-odd students. Today, as a professor, my class has girls and boys in equal numbers,” says Vashi-based educationist Saudamini Nair.

But there are nay-sayers too. “I’m wondering if it is even theoretically possible to define the ‘New Woman’ in terms of a single set of characteristics,” said Kalyani Menon-Sen of JAGORI. “Indian women are so different from each other in terms of their class, caste, regional, linguistic and religious identities that what is ‘old’ for one is ‘new’ for the other, and not even on the map for yet another. That said, I think the one thing that has changed is that women are no longer hesitant or apologetic about claiming a share of space and visibility within the family, at work, in public spaces, in the public discourse.”

Small concessions to big achievements, she tastes freedom. Her aspirations are taken seriously; count the hailstorm of women-centric TV shows, commercials and food items aimed her way.

“It comes with monetary independence,” said Usha Srinivasan, HR Consultant. “We don’t need to be dependent. Yes, it’s breaking tradition and is certainly a way of empowering ourselves.”

How is it easier now? Sustained campaigns run by women groups since the national movement. Laws passed to make justice equitable, for corrective surgery of mindsets. Travel, definitely. Her willingness to take up non-traditional workplaces; job opportunities, with IT hiring in bulk. Jobs with a level paying field. Women began to write and read what other women wrote… and cyberspace. She now blogs and networks, using it for the freedom denied so far to voice her angst, express outrage and disapproval, fulfil the need for acceptance and approval. To speak out.

When, in an interview titled “Women can’t do business”, the CEO of an FMCG said, “…businesses can’t be run by women … Women [should] raise children, imbibe them with tradition, culture, customs and heritage of India. I don’t want to break traditions from which we seek treasure and pleasure,” the women of the blogosphere erupted.

The NW is a quietly emerging strategist. She isn’t averse to men. She wants a career for her creative outlets and for economic self-sufficiency. She also wants a workable marriage that includes honesty, intimacy and the space to make decisions. She can manage the marital “bond”, since she enters it out of choice. She wants to be feminine and is not ashamed of it. She is interested in a full life.

An epitome of this breed is Mumbai-based singleton Mithu Basu, General Manager, Corporate Communications for the Leela Palaces, Hotels and Resorts. “Life is definitely not about adjustments. A life full of compromises is a life of regrets,’ says the vivacious Mithu whose looks belie her 50-odd years.

“My parents were extremely conservative. In college, I once got an invitation to join an overnight picnic but was terrified of asking for permission. Nevertheless, I asked and was (expectedly) denied permission. Instead of being devastated, I pursued my case and was rewarded with success. It was a turning point in my life. Most people lose opportunities by merely imagining obstacles.”

A much valued team leader and a sparkling speaker at seminars, Mithu remains a role model for young beginners in the corporate world.

“I teach them to look beyond gender limitations and bust the myth of a glass ceiling for women. The vital thing in life is to ask yourself who you are, and what you want out of life. Having identified one’s goals, make it your life’s mission to achieve them.”

With a failed relationship behind her, Mithu was once a nervous woman, shaky about everything including crossing roads on her own. “I was holed up and moping in Delhi after my relationship collapsed. One day my brother handed me a set of car keys, ordered me to learn driving and get my life in order. He gave me just one month to do so. Though a nervous trainee, I learnt fast and never looked back. Over the years, I cultivated hobbies and, as a marketing professional, I have acquired friends from all over the globe. I cherish and nurture these relationships. I have nine siblings and that works out to 18 sets of shoulders to cry on if I choose to mope. But I choose to laugh instead. At the end of the day, it’s great to come home to peace and silence and have coffee with my favourite companion: me,” laughs Mithu contentedly.

The NW flaunts her assets with the same vigour with which she flaunts her sexuality. Without masculine skills, she wins her battles.

When needed, she retreats to work on recouping womanhood. If she stays home to raise kids after an MBA from a top-end B-School, it is because she chooses to. She is also moving away from fighting for common goals like the price rise and alcoholism to concentrate on individual fulfilment.

“Yes, a new woman is emerging on some level,” said Kirtana Kumar, theatre personality who specialises in women-related themes. “But she isn’t a homogenous entity; rural women and women in the taluks have different paradigms of life from urban women; similarly, low income women from high income …”

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