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Voices of ANGUISH
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"The Children We Sacrifice" is a hard-hitting documentary on child sexual abuse
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"YES" DOES not have any meaning if you don't have the option to say "No".
"No one wants to believe it. Nobody wants to know these things." "It has affected every relationship I've had." "I lost my childhood. I will never forgive him."
Voices of anguish. Voices of anger. And of courage and strength. Those who are still battling with their demons. Those who have come to terms and moved on for, "you can't let the betrayers win." "The Children We Sacrifice" was a film filled with images that shook you; made you furious, brought a lump to your throat and made you want to reach out.
This is the worst betrayal of all, the robbing of the innocent through sexual abuse which thrusts a burden of guilt and shame upon them. Very often, the violation is perpetrated by those they trust. Uncles, grandfathers, brothers, family friends and worst of all, their own fathers. While mothers can turn protectors, they can also turn a blind eye. A survey done with 350 school girls in Delhi by the Sakshi Violence Intervention Centre in 1997 revealed that 63 per cent of the girls had experienced child sexual abuse at the hands of family members.
The video documentary was presented by Insights and Ashraya:Project Safe Childhood at the Suprageeth preview theatre on September 20. It was followed by a discussion moderated by Dr. Vijay Nagaswami, family therapist.
Insights is the community response programme of the International Foundation for Crime Prevention and Victim Care (PCVC), a non-profit organisation working for survivors of domestic violence. "Its purpose is to create perspectives on important social issues and build an engaged, involved and active audience for challenging films," say the organisers. Ashraya aims to create awareness and sensitisation in the area of child sexual abuse and believes that nurturing and providing a safe environment is essential for a secure childhood.
"The Children We Sacrifice" was made by Grace Poore, who started Shakti Productions in 1989 "to document women's struggles and confront public and private violence against women and children both within and outside the United States." Poore, a survivor of incestuous sexual abuse, is the daughter of South Asian immigrants to the U.S. The video focusses on the South Asian community as the cultures impose a veil of silence on child sexual abuse especially by relatives as the family is considered sacrosanct.
There is a culture of denial though statistics show that there is as much child abuse in South Asian communities as in any other.
The denial produces more victims. Girls are six times more likely than boys to be sexually abused. And horrifyingly, the abuser generally appears to be just a `regular guy'.
The hour-long film weaves together the stories of South Asian survivors, the opinion of activists, psychologists, child psychiatrists and lawyers. (But almost all the experts are women — disturbingly there are hardly any men.) Shot in India, Sri Lanka, Canada and the U.S., the documentary mixes poignant images of happy childhood with the betrayal experienced within the home, usually a place of shelter and healing.
The rich textures and colours in the film are inspired by our traditional textiles and these alternate with the shadows and the foreboding. But finally it is hope that is spelt out — the need to break free, to ovecome and start anew.
"The Children We Sacrifice" jolts us out of our complacency. It is a film that has to be viewed by both children and adults to know how to take preventive steps, read the warning signs, and help survivors snap out of "a frozen state of victimhood".
KAUSALYA SANTHANAM
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