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Aarrgh,`MAN'KIND!
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The things men do to catch the attention of the other sex!
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ON BANGALORE'S mean streets, you could meet one of these. They are all part of the homo sapiens. But guess what, variety is the name of the game. And some of them are more colourful than others.
What are we talking about? The male of the species of course! To be more correct, the different kinds of men women of Bangalore meet on the streets. But before we start, a warning: this is a fun piece. Besides, it refers to a minority, not to all men. Read it in the spirit it is intended.
Cellphonies: A peculiar kind of men. They sport cellphones (like most of us) or sometimes a small radio. If they see a girl walking towards them, out comes the cellphone/radio, pressed to the said character's ear. When the girl sails past, studiously ignoring him, he murmurs: "Hi! baby".
Naturally, she looks up, and sees a man talking on his cellphone/ or listening to his radio. She knows he `comment'ed on her (a particularly Indian expression), but there's no proof, she has to be content with a frosty glare or maybe a loud comment of her own.
Gymnasties: These are the kind not necessarily restricted to gyms, but are usually found inside those haunts for fitness. You can spot them anywhere. They are usually in the shortest of shorts and tightest of T-shirts, with armband and sweatband prominently displayed. Invariably, they wear branded clothes and make sure that the paid-for name is prominently displayed as well. For good measure, these dudes strut around, show off biceps, triceps, and other sundry muscles. These characters are generally the noisiest in the gym.
Geriatrics: Refers to those old men who think they are forever young, when it comes to ogling. Their usual habitat is bus stops, market places, cinemas, or restaurants. They are not the discreet kind. If they see a face they like, they look, on and on. Till the poor girl in question decides to wisely move on or dash into an autorickshaw.
Fingerlings: No specific age. But most often spotted in buses, busy roads, and trains. Are usually at their most active when the crowd is at its thickest. Modus operandi? As the description suggests, they use their fingers to explore the nearest female. She is usually armed, with a lowly safety pin or maybe a paper knife. Or uses her sharp elbow. But, aha! the cunning fingerlings use opportune moments, like when the bus brakes suddenly. When the victim feels a finger, she looks around angrily. A teenager, an old man, a middle-aged man, a guy in his 20s, look innocently back at her! Maybe breaking a couple of finger bones is not too bad an idea after all.
There are more varieties, ever more surprises, but maybe for a next time.
DIVYA SREEDHARAN
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