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Old and the beautiful
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After devoting a good part of their lives to looking after spouses and kids, some elderly women in the city find that they haven't had time to pursue their own interests. Better late than never, they say. SARASWATHY NAGARAJAN reports...
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"AND THE crown goes to... Alice James.
Dressed in a simple chatta and mundu, the 64-year-old winner of the `Malayali Manka' contest says, "I enjoy such activities."
Her joie de vivre characterises the sea change in the outlook of women in her age group. It also points to an attitudinal change in society.
A few decades ago, the lives of old women centred on domestic and spiritual matters. But now, more and more women in the city are breaking the traditional mould and finding their own niche in public life.
Old age is not a disadvantage. On the other hand, it is a time to embark on a voyage of self-discovery. Many of these women in the 50-plus age group attempt to revive talents that were put on the backburner while they were busy with their children and homes.
Some prefer to call it a search for their identity; a need to turn towards newer horizons once the children grow up.
Theatre, writing, catering, teaching, singing -- the avenues these women choose are varied. Music is a popular option. Sudha Thampy, a member of a bhajan group, Sangeet Saritha, believes it is a kind of therapy. To hone her skills, Renu Sabarinath attends music classes led by the director, M. G. Radhakrishnan.
Some like Joey Komalakumar and Prameela Nair have taken up painting, while others bank on their culinary and home-management skills. Social work was another option that has found favour with many women.
Radhakrishnan Menon, president of the Senior Citizens' Association, says, "We have talented members. Some of them are good in writing plays, dancing, singing and organising. Once the children grow up, some home-makers experience a void in their lives and such activities help them overcome the problem creatively."
Says Renu, "Eight years ago, I felt the need to find new hobbies that would keep me occupied. With two of my daughters married off and my youngest daughter studying engineering, I had time to pursue my own interests."
She revived her singing talent. "After 30 years of marriage, I was finally doing something for myself. All those years, I had concentrated on looking after my family, in-laws and parents," she says. Now, she is a member of music clubs such as `Ganasmrithi' and `Sriragam' in the city, and regularly sings at various programmes.
There are many such music groups in the city, some of which are exclusively meant for women. Says Sudha Thampy, "Our group, led my Radhika Sundareshan, sings bhajans in temples. Recently, we went to Sooranad to sing at a temple dedicated to Narasimhamoorthy. We have also sung at Thiruvattar and Guruvayur and, now, might go to Kanyakumari," she says.
The former Chief Secretary, Padma Ramachandran, is another member of the group. She says, "Most of the songs we present are based on classical ragas. I enjoy music and dance and hence..."
Being an artist has been a dream come true for Joey Komalakumar. She wielded the painting brush seriously after she became a grandmother. "I had never really given up my interest in painting. But when the children were young, I didn't have the time to pursue my interest," she says. "A few years back, five of us, friends, decided to form a group and we have never look back. We got trained by artist B. D. Dethan," she says.
The art exhibitions organised by the group have been successful and "we've proved that art is not the prerogative of a few."
Saramma Thoppil, who is in her sixties, runs a hostel for students. "Work keeps me happy," she says. "I began by providing accommodation for the children of my relatives, studying in various city schools."
Saramma is a member of a music group that specialises in devotional and patriotic songs. Along with 10 other women, she also raises funds for cancer patients and the needy.
Shantha Jose too works for the welfare of patients at the Regional Cancer Centre (RCC). "When a relative of mine was admitted, I witnessed the trials and tribulations of the patients at RCC. I felt I had to do something," she says. Shantha runs an association that has more than 230 members.
Social work and the encouragement of friends give women an opportunity to explore new facets of their personality. For instance, a 20-minute skit written by a novice was the highlight of a programme put up by the Sethu Memorial Vanitha Samithy at Poojappura. The author, S. Janaki, who also acted in the skit, says, "After the age of 12, I had never appeared on stage. Fifty years later, I donned the grease-paint again." The loss of her husband and the sudden changes in her life evoked nostalgia in Janaki. "I started jotting down my thoughts. Till then, I had not written anything that could be called literary. Now, I am even ready to publish my jottings in the form a book," she says.
Prabha Joshua, 52, does not think she is old. "I had always been interested in cooking. Now, I am into it in a big way, running a catering unit." Pies, tarts, rolls and cakes are her specialty.
Most of these women have learnt to ignore the catty remarks directed at them. "It is a question of attitude," says Sudha Thampy.
Experts welcome this trend and say it helps in tackling the emotional and physical problems associated with old age. According to a study conducted by the Centre for Development Studies, the number of elderly in the State is growing by 3.5 per cent, while Kerala's annual population is growing at a rate of one per cent.
D. Dalus, superintendent of the Government Medical College Hospital, says, "It has been noticed that women, especially home-makers, are physically and emotionally healthier than men, in old age. For one thing, most women do not smoke or consume alcohol. Moreover, housewives are not exposed to the stress and strain at the workplace."
Says Renu Sabarinath, "I feel mentally and physically fit and have a large circle of friends. I am reliving my student days."
Photos: Vijay, Vinod Sebastian, Aloysius Andrew
Graphics: Manoj
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