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All is not well in God's Own Country
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The State's high suicide rate points that all is not well in God's Own Country. MINU ITTYIPE talks to various helplines and psychiatrists in the city and finds that lending an attentive ear to a troubled mind can avert such an extreme step.
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"TO BE or not to be" seems to be a morbid thought that crosses the minds of Keralites. They are highly depressed and suicides have rapidly increased in the State in the past decade. Statistics obtained from the National Crime Records Research Bureau show that in the year 2000, the average of suicides in Kerala, is 32 per lakh, which is three times higher than that of the national average of 11. 2 per lakh. Though the State has a very high literacy rate - the highest in the country, the high consumption of alcohol and anti-depressant drugs, high divorce rates and the suicide factor indicate that "the emotional and mental well being" of the State may be at poorer levels - a fact that needs introspection not only by society at large but also by us as individuals.
Psychiatrists and counsellors in the city say suicides can to a great extent be prevented by one simple procedure - that is increasing our ability to lend an attentive ear. In this highly consumerist and competitive society, where social values are on the decline and `each for himself' is the credo; we have to train ourselves to listen attentively to our near and dear ones. Most of the calls that come to Maithri and ALMS, the two counselling centres for the depressed and suicidal in Kochi, are from depressed people who just want to talk to someone. Says the Director of Maithri, Ms. Nazeema, "Many of the people who call just want to ventilate their feelings and we guide them to find a solution to their problems by themselves. We know at least 30 per cent of these callers have benefited from talking to us because they call back to thank us. We listen without being judgemental, without criticising, and with total confidentiality. We don't take down addresses nor do we insist on names." Maithiri receives on an average around eight calls a day and during the time of the examination results they work round the clock because the number of distressed callers are much higher. And ALMS gets about 5 calls a day. Says Dr. Alex Mathew, Consultant Counsellor at ALMS, "Thirty five to 40 per cent of the people who call us contemplate suicide. We help them to find themselves, what we call a process of self discovery and through this we are able to help most people." Points out Ms. Nazeema "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. And most of the callers are very confused and want to talk to someone and when they talk they find another perspective to their problems. We have been trained to identify people with suicidal tendencies and in such cases we insist they seek psychiatric treatment."
The phenomenon of family-pact suicide, which is peculiar to Kerala, has emerged as a cold, calculated and cruel measure to escape from problems. And there has been a rise in these family suicide cases from the early nineties when first of its kind was witnessed in the State.
Dr. C. J. John, Consultant Psychiatrist at the Medical Trust Hospital, points out, "Mass suicides are usually done by people of religious cults in other parts of the world, but in Kerala it is done by families who isolate themselves from the society. Then they create negative and suicidogenic relationships within the family group. Family-pact suicides are of three kinds - the first is due to financial problems and because of mounting debts the family commits suicide - the dominant influence being the father who brainwashes the other members into believing that there is no point in living. The second is when the female is highly distressed because of dowry problems or other harassment. Then the woman kills her children first as she perceives them to be an extension of her psyche and finally commits suicide. The third kind, which is not common in Kerala is when a paranoid male who is suspicious of the wife's fidelity kills the family members before he himself commits suicide." Speaking on the Chottanikkara family-pact suicide alleged murder case that the city recently witnessed Dr. John says, "In Kerala, where two people cannot agree on any one thing, it is surprising that a family of six was instigated to commit suicide. In this case, if what has been reported is true, then the criminal intent becomes the predominant element over the pure suicidal intent. In all family suicide cases one member has a predominant influence on the other members."
Says Dr. Ravi Pisharadi, Psychiatrist at the Sree Sudheendra Medical Mission, "In Kerala there is something called `relative poverty,' these families who commit suicide are not absolutely poor but get into a debt trap because they borrow to keep up with others." Dr. John adds "The mad race to acquire consumer goods shows that the per capita expenditure of Kerala is not in proportion with the per capita income and the money comes from loans which people cannot repay."
Ms.Nazeema of Maithiri points out that a large number of distressed calls are from people with financial problems. "In these cases we are unable to help much, we just listen to them. And we get calls from people all over Kerala and what is frustrating for us is that we are well aware that these people have to spend money from their pocket to call us when they are in dire straits. If the calls to this centre were toll free it would have been of great help."
The State also witnesses a number of suicides during the examinations result time. This phenomenon became prominent when the results to the S.S.L.C was politicised and publicity given to them.
Psychiatrists say the main culprit for this is the educational system which is rank oriented with no emphasis on living skills. Says Dr. John "This is not the most important event in one's life, it is only an entry point to the next level. The children that commit suicide are good students who did not get the marks that they expected.
Another factor is that parents tend to compare them with others."
Says Dr. Pisharadi, " The education system is faulty for it is focused on subjects like maths and science. This is called the left-brain development.
The right side of the brain, which is associated with music, art and controls emotions is neglected. The schools only develop half the personality of a student so he or she is not fully equipped to face life. The students may have a very high IQ but their Emotional Intelligence maybe low. (Emotional Intelligence is the ability to delay gratification) And as the frustration tolerance levels are coming down many people including children cannot handle even the smallest problems.
The cause of suicide cannot be attributed to one single factor, it is multifactorial and its medical term is `biopsychosocial.' Dr. John corroborates, "When the media pinpoints one single factor as the cause of suicide it could be the final straw that breaks the camel's back. It has also been noticed that the glorification of suicide by the media and the aura of martyrdom created causes a ripple effect, after one highly projected incident a series of similar suicides follow. People contemplating suicide are confused and when they see a highly publicised event in the midst of their stress, suicide becomes a saleable option."
"Alcoholism, infidelity, paranoia, relationship problems, personality problems and personality traits are some of the other factors that cause distress and lead to suicide," feels Dr. Mathew.
Dr. John points out, "When most of the attempted suicide cases and suicides are finally analysed, then what is revealed is that the kith and kin of the person were well aware that the person was depressed and overt signals were sent to them, but in 85 per cent of the cases these signals were ignored. When there are sudden behavioural changes in a person coupled with depression, then there are chances that the person maybe contemplating suicide. Most people think that depression is something that people should handle by themselves. Medical help is considered as the last resort because of the social stigma attached to it."
Says Ms. Nazeema "If one notices drastic changes in a person make sure they seek counselling and psychiatric help or at least lend them an attentive ear. It might prevent the extreme step."
Telling signs
THINGS TO watch out
* When a happy person withdraws from social relationships.
* A social drinker starts drinking excessively.
* The person becomes disinterested in his or her personal hygiene and appearance.
*The person hints that he or she is fed up with life.
Helplines for the depressed Maithri - 2396272, ALMS - 2311891
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