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Gyaan for Dummies
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Spare the dictionary while reading this one. SHONALI MUTHALALY and SUDHISH KAMATH plug into the city colleges for the latest slang
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She: Dude, wassup?
He: I'm, like, pooped... just getting over a day-nighter...
Metro Plus (bewildered): Whoa... What's a day-nighter?
She: Awrite, listen da... we need to keep this hajaar simple. They wanna generally fill in the reader junta on what's up with all the lingo around...
He: You mean they want some gyaan? Well, day-nighter is when you got your regular exam in the morning and an arrear in the afternoon session ... you know... double trouble... the stuff that happens when you got AIDS...
Metro Plus (worried): AIDS????
She (kindly): He means Arrears In Different Subjects... So what's the scene?
He: Just chilling out, babes! Hey, you wanna hang tonight?
Metro Plus (confused): Hang...? Oh - you mean hang out.
She: No da. No perm. My folks would have a cow. The last time I went clubbing I got totally jacked. I was grounded for a week - got so bored I almost popped it!
Metro Plus (cleverly): So they clubbed you. (Heh, Heh!) And does have a cow mean getting freaked out?
She (grinning): Yeah, smart. You're getting with the programme now!
He: So you ended up spending the week in the godown with Sleeping Beauty? He's such a cartoon da - the last time the half moon lectured, he put my class to sleep.
She (Turning to Metro Plus): The godown's our college library, since it's crammed with cobwebs and cockroaches. And Sleeping Beauty is what they call our most boring Prof, when they're not pointing at his "half moon" - his bald pate that is. He can put you into a coma when he's in good form!
He (impatiently): Anyway, ditch that. Did I tell you I went out with a real item yesterday?
She: Thought you had the day nighter.. Shouldn't you have been mugging all night instead? Anyway, what's with the latest chick?
He: Well, I saw her for the first time last Friday. Thought she was one of those behenji types - you know — complete with the jatang salwar and jango flowers.
She: Oooh... The mallipoo-rosapoo types?
He: Ya, da. And then, I saw her totally sloshed in a spaghetti with this complete Peter from Loyola at the pub. And, boy, was she hawt!
Metro Plus (intuitively): So this guy called Peter was hitting on her over an Italian dinner?
She: Er... `Peter' is what we call all hi-fi, pish-posh, la di dah-type guys... You know, the snobby kinds who don't speak anything besides Star World English? And you wear a spaghetti - not eat it!
He: Anyway, Peter turned out to be quite a Fruity. (Looking at Metro Plus) And that means he was rather Duh. I mean — get this - to pataofy her, he bought her balloons and a pink teddy bear holding a furry heart in its paws.
She and Metro Plus: Yeeeew. Gross!
She: That's so sucky, yaar! But I'm surprised - isn't the chap quite a hulk... complete with twenty inch biceps?
He: Yeah, but he didn't have any masala in his head. So I put route. I walked up to her and said, "Are your parents thieves? Because they stole the stars and put them in your eyes."
She (in disbelief): Shut up! How come you didn't use your fave "Did it hurt?"
Metro Plus (surprised): Did what hurt? Him hitting on her? (chuckle)
She: No when she "fell from heaven".
Metro Plus (rolling on the floor with laughter): Corny!
She: Oh, he's quite a Pulli Raja these days. He's constantly taking panga with all the Mirchis.
Metro Plus (sadly): Ok... you have to explain that to us.
She: Well, Pulli Raja is the latest term for flirts. Pangas are to take people on... And Mirchis are short-tempered girls... as opposed to Jelabis - the sweet ones.
He: Anyway, the item melted. We totally hit it off and I took her for coffee at Amethyst. (I was so broke machaan... saw stars when I saw their menu!) Then we caught a flick - Sree Box seats. (Waggling his eyebrows.)
She (gagging): Chance pe dance, uh? No wonder all those KTs...
Metro Plus (disapprovingly): You went dancing? In the theatre! And whats a KT?
He: No da, I won't Keep Term, that's repeat a term - freeaa vidu. (let it be).
She: Chance pe dance means to take full advantage of a situation.
Metro Plus (enlightened): aiight, sounds cool... (aside) I'm so with it or at least I'm getting there!
He: Yeah, just hang us with us... as long as you don't become a kabab mein haddi... And don't just jang for the heck of it, okaaay?
Metro Plus: Aiight, lets go grab some coffee... How about some OC coffee...
He and She (excitedly): Cool!
(Scene after coffee)
Metro Plus (leaving hurriedly before the bill arrives): Thanks machi. For everything.
He and She: Cheapo!
All slang used in this story has been compiled after hours of intensive eavesdropping at canteens, libraries, coffee shops, movie halls, shopping malls and campuses. Special thanks to: Ganesh, Sreekanth and Paul (Sathyabama), Karthik, Sujit and Sravan (SRM), M.Chitra (Dhanapal Arts and Science College), Roshni (Loyola College), the WCC, Ethiraj and Stella girls for their slang and MOP Vaishnav girls and DG Vaishnav boys for the coffee they paid for.
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The college phrase book
Vennai: Means butter, but used to refer to dumb guys— "Dai Vennai/ Dubuku/ Takku."
Palam: Literally means fruit. Used to refer to naïve boys— "Seriyana palam machi."
Gilli: Term used to describe street-smart guys.
Paruppu: Term used to describe over-smart guys.
Seth: Generic term for North Indians— "Ao, Ao... Sethji."
Thalai (var): Current fave filmstar/ gang leader. "Cut adikellam, thalai." (Let's bunk, boss)
Mama: Policemen — "Don't take that route. Mama waiting, maammu."
Maammu: Part of the male bonding slang like Machi/ Machaan/ Maaplai.
Matter: Goss (or gossip). Latest controversy on campus.
Blade: Boring and irritating person.
Alwa: To cheat. "Alwa kuduthutaan da". (He ditched us, man)
Correct Pandradhu/ Tick Mark Podurathu: Trying to hit on (make a pass at) a girl.
Jill/Jing/Jukk: Ratings guys use to describe girls— Jill (good), Jing (average), Jukk (bad).
Enthu cutlet/enthu pattani: Enthusiastic junta, the first-to-finish-assignment types.
Ticket: Slang for girl friend.
Party/Kacheri: Secret `bucket' (booze) or pyjama party at home
Gilma/Jigree: One of the umpteen controversial references to girls, most of them unprintable.
Scene/Film: Show off. An attempt to impress a girl.
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