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Family system is an integral part of Indian culture.
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Photo: K.R.Deepak
Ever heard of a live-in relationship? Well, the definition is simple: put a man and a woman under a single roof without their tying the nuptial knots; and let them live the way they like. And believe it or not, that's the latest fad among the jet-set.
Though this type of relationship existed since time immemorial, it was given a different name and place in society earlier. It was common for the zamindars and princes to cohabit with more than one woman apart from their legally wedded wives. Though such women were given a huge amount of wealth and at times even deeply loved by their patronising menfolk, they did not enjoy a respectable place in society. Any woman living with a man sans wedlock was called a concubine.
But in today's context, especially in the cosmopolitan society none bothers who is living with whom and who is married to whom. The word `partner' is sufficient to do the explaining.
This culture, which was limited to the four metros only till a few years ago and was the domain exclusively earmarked for the celebrities to explore, is now slowly creeping into cities like Hyderabad, Bangalore and last but not the least Visakhapatnam.
Though the concept percolated down from the past the profile and nature of relationship has undergone a sea change. Today most of the live-together couples are highly educated working professionals and each of them lead an independent life style. And in most cases it is out of various compulsive reasons that they work out a feasible equation to live together. While a few believe in enjoying life without getting into the hassles or `bondage of marriage' as they coin it.
"Right now we are not thinking of marriage. We both hail from different states and have come here with different objectives. It is more of a question of security in an unknown place than anything else," says Rahul who lives with Sanjana, and both are studying while working (The names have been changed).
Rahul comes from West Bengal and Sanjana from Bihar. Both have come to this city for studying while doing some part time assignments. They struck a common chord the first time they met and that culminated to a live-in relationship. Today they not only share a flat but also have become part of each other's life.
"I care for her she does for me. We value each other's sentiments and emotions. Though our professional goals are different we encourage each other. I do not see any wrong in living together as long as there is mutual understanding and respect for each other. We share everything right from happiness to sorrow and live like any other legally married couple the only thing that might be missing is the acute binding of responsibility and the forceful exercise of right over one another. If the relation goes dysfunctional at any stage we can just part without any legal hassles," says Rahul.
Whether live-in relationship is healthy or morally correct is debatable. But, of late, women living in the West with such an understanding have become prone to mental, physical and sexual abuse, irrespective of the fact that this modern culture germinated from the West. And psychologists attribute this mainly to the factor of lack of responsibility, as pointed out by Rahul.
There are thousands of such couples like Rahul and Sanjana spread all over the country and who have been living together for years. They do not want to get married, nor would they have children, as they feel that such developments would bind them and make them commit.
But what is life without commitment?
"Relationship is not an obligation rather it's a long-term commitment," points out the former Rector of Andhra University and the current director of Centre for Police Studies, Prof. A. Prasanna Kumar.
He asserts: "Family is the backbone of any social system and that is the main problem of the West. They do not have a strong family system, which is the root cause of all their social problems. But in case of India, it is the reverse. The world looks up to India for its strong social and cultural heritage. And family system is an integral part of that culture. Hence there is no substitute for the marital relationship."
On one hand, we have the cultural tenets fighting the social and cultural invasions like live-in relationships, pre-marital and extra-marital affairs, and on the other we have the Justice Malinath Committee, set up by the Law Commission of India, recommending that if a woman has been in a live-in relationship for a reasonable period, she should enjoy the legal rights like the wife.
Well, in such a case the term `wife' may have to be redefined by law.
SUMIT BHATTACHARJEE
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