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LONELY but ASSERTIVE
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It is not education only that is needed. It is that women should have liberty of experiences; that they should differ from men without fear and express their differences openly. ---Virginia Woolf
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--Photo: K.R. Deepak
With determination writ on their faces, they are ready to face all challenges in life. They are independent, strong-willed, confident and composed. Meet today's women. They are not married and they don't give a damn. Between the euphoric college days, long hours at the desk and high pressure jobs, between art and working out at the gym, media onslaught, e-mails floating around like snowflakes, freaking out with friends and catching up with latest TV programmes, who even has the time to think, leave alone search for a soul mate!
A decade ago, marriage was the be-all and end-all of Indian social life. But today, the urban middle class educated woman wants to be independent, carve out an identity of her own, before getting into any kind of social binding.
But do we find an attitudinal change in society towards the working women? "Social attitudes are varied against women. Various psychological studies suggest that the situation is not very favourable for working women, but it has definitely improved," says Vindhya, Professor of Psychology in the Andhra University.
In the past four or five years, there has been a welcome change in the outlook towards the young women. With more and more women joining the work force, there has been a shift in the understanding of a woman's role. But a lot needs to change in the way people perceive it, she avers.
Smita came to this city when she was 22, extremely thrilled at the prospect of getting her first job. With this new turn in her life, she managed to put aside all her apprehensions of staying alone in an unknown city. "But when it comes to working late, I always feel that it's a drawback for women, especially if you are staying alone," she says.
The problem that most lone working women in the city face is to stand up to the unending questions put forth by neighbours and landowners due to their late working hours. The call center concept has come up very recently and the local people are yet to accept the night work culture of women.
Structural changes like call centers and the mushrooming of working women's hostels and paying guest accommodation indicate the gradual change in the outlook of Vizagites.
"But when it comes to a working woman staying alone, people don't refrain from passing snide remarks even if she goes out on an official assignment with her male colleagues," says Akanksha, a sales executive.
"This new found identity of the 'modern' woman will definitely generate a ripple effect on the family and on the social front. But there will be corresponding changes in the coming years," predicts Prof. Vindya.
Do men take advantage of a lonely working woman? "My experience is that Vizag is relatively a safe place for persons like me, as compared to northern metros. By God's grace, I have not encountered anything terrible. By and large, people in work place and outside have been supportive," says Akanksha.
To be independent and staying alone has its own advantages. Says Smita, "I know how to be responsible for myself. It is definitely easy to keep track of your finances when you are single." "Today's woman knows exactly what she wants and where to draw the line. One of the biggest reason for this high confidence level is economic independence," says Akanksha.
"It's not the question of competing with men. Women just want a chance to grow. They don't want to be restricted to the domestic role - an exclusive preserve of Indian women so far. There should be more democratisation of the domestic role. The onus shouldn't lie with women alone," says Prof Vindya.
Indians are still not reconciled to the idea of a woman staying on her own. But, with parents allowing daughters to travel and work, mindset and attitudes will hopefully change for the better.
(Some names have been changed to protect the identity)
NIVEDITA GANGULY
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Metro Plus
Bangalore
Chennai
Coimbatore
Delhi
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Kochi
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Visakhapatnam
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