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Bridging the gap
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A formal relationship between parents and children is passé. The breeze of informality is reviving a relationship, which looked likely to fall prey to generation gap, says K. JESHI
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Pic: S. Siva Saravanan
The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is that they have a common enemy — Sam Levenson in `You don't have to be in who's who to know what's what'
WHEN DEEPA decided to marry Joseph, her mom advised her against it, saying most inter-caste marriages failed. But, Deepa pleaded - "Ma, it may work for me." Like Deepa, how many times have you felt that your parents don't understand you, that they don't respect your individuality? How often do you shake your head in frustration and blame it all on `Generation gap'? `N' times?
G-gap is when you feel your parents are members of different camps and you are strangers forced to live under the same roof. In really testing times, they turn aliens who've dropped in from another planet, right? Wrong! There is a way of bridging what appears to be a yawning chasm.
Kamini, a first year college student, explains how a tolerant attitude and a newer way of living are fast emerging as solutions to bridge the gap. "We don't argue with our parents for playing bhajans early in the morning, and they don't stop us from listening to rock music late in the night. And, when I wear my baggy pants to college, they don't complain because they understand peer pressure!"
The problem arises only when teenagers start imitating the stereotypical brash teenager, made famous in many a movie. Especially, the pesky, fast multiplying adolescent subspecies - The Fun-loving Teenybopper. And, parents, blinded by their love for kids, want their own experiences to replace that of their kids.
However, teenagers claim that they genuinely want to improve the relationship with their parents. "We listen to them and treat them like valued friends. Instead of always whining that "you don't understand me", we've started to think on the lines of understanding them," teenagers say.
For parents, is `generation gap' a sophisticated term used to camouflage ego? "No, I will not equate it with ego. It's just a conflict between adults and teenagers. Both have a different set of ideas and aspirations, but the onus is on the adults to bridge the gap. Instead of saying `no', it is better to guide teenagers to channel their `wants'," says S. B. Srinivasan, visiting professor, PSG Institute of Management.
Explains V. Ponni, consultant psychiatrist of KG Hospital "With changes in society, students are ambitious and are also self-centred. This takes its toll on relationships and they cannot get along even with people of the same age group. Now, G-gap repeats itself in 2-3 years and is visible even within peer groups."
"Youngsters get frustrated quickly and father and son are always at loggerheads, because of the high expectations. However, grandparents, out of wisdom, don't see teenagers as a `performing asset' and understand them better. So, it is important to listen to the older generation to bridge the gap in families," she adds.
Are college professors making any effort to bridge the gap with their students? "It's not necessary to break the barrier because students may not be able to handle the freedom. One should maintain the dignity of a teacher, yes, but compassion for students is a must," Srinivasan adds.
According to Mrinalini David, Principal of CSI Bishop Appasamy College of Arts and Science, the presence of a lot of youngsters in the teaching profession has also in a way helped bridge the gap.
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