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W for whatever...
Cool words click... on campus.
SO WHAT'S the latest cool word on campus?
Once upon a time, it was `cool.'
Then, it was like... you know... `like'. Everyone started like peppering their sentences with, like, you know... like, because it's cool. It was, like, this big thing to hit the campus lingo. Soon, cool was, like, so out, that they needed another thingie.
Thingie didn't work too badly but it didn't, like, live too long either, because cool words come with an expiry date. Like, who [other than Austin Powers] says `groovy' these days, unless they're just dying to be banished to the very outskirts of cooldom.
Hollywood influence
These words worm their way into campuses all the way from Hollywood, most of the time. Sometimes they come from bubble-gummy music videos and twanging VJs who want us to believe that they wash their tees in Washington. And believe it or not, sometimes they spring even from movies like K3G ["Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham" for those of you who are, like, living in Yankeeland].
And hey, suddenly, some of the most unassuming words turn happening. Like... `Whatever'... you know, it's cool.
These are words that come in handy when you want to make sense without actually making sense. Or when you want to make conversation without really saying anything. Or sound intellectual, or funny, or cool/hip/hep/happening/whatever... Or when you run out of arguments. Or win them. We are talking of multi-utility words that could acquire greater meaning, from the way they are said. Words that could mean virtually anything — depending on your tone.
In this list of must-have words, `whatever' could be that one-word that speaks volumes.
Keep it at the top of your [probably warped] mind and you will never need another word, or hints from self-help books with titles like "How to win friends and influence their chickens for your soul". Or whatever...
For those of you who are frustrated and close to tears at this point [Hey, we never said being a hipster is easy!] here's a step-by-step guide that spells out...
... How and When to use Whatever.
Intellectual: For best effects, use after a long pause and an intense look of deep thought. This makes the listener think you know more than you say. Which is good.
Transitional: When you want to change topics, say `Whatever... ' languidly and watch the magic. The response is almost instant.
Convenience: When you do not want to entertain a bore and need an escape route. Say this impatiently and look at your watch. Five seconds and you are a free man.
Ellipsis: What is ellipsis? ... Those three dots. `Whatever' makes for a good ellipsis. Use it when you want to fill a gap in the conversation.
Disagreement: When you want to disagree and don't think it is worth arguing, just stick your nose in the air, shrug and say `Whatever' snootily.
Agreement: When you want to agree with someone who is desperately trying to explain something in vain, help them out with a nod, smile and say `I feel you, brother ... whatever'. And watch the relief.
Out of ideas: When you are just bored or hungry or out of ideas, you trail out with, like, you know... whatever...
SUDHISH KAMATH
SHONALI MUTHALALY
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