Metro Plus
Bangalore
Chennai
Hyderabad
V for Vamps, Vampires, Villains
|
Think V is for Victory? Hah! Think again
|
Often geeks turn to freaks in a burst of bravado
EVIL IS in. In fact, it has its quota of admission every year.
For, life in a girl's college is evidence of the fact that most girls are `evil'.
But before we get carried away with the Vamps, let's not leave out the Vampires. Ummm... or Vultures. After all, they don't spend all their time at choir practice in the boy's colleges, right?
And it's not like all girls head straight home at noon to finish their homework and organise their book bags for the next day.
So, here's a compilation of some of the `evil' things that people do. Or don't do. Depending on which side of the `good v/s evil' war you're on.
1) My Best Friend's weddling:
The guy who steals his best friend's girl. Or the girl who snares her best friend's boyfriend.
Modus Operandi: The evil one confuses, corrupts and ultimately convinces. Tools for the wannabe Vampire/Vamp include psychotic e-mails, crank calls and anonymous SMSs.
Role models:
Julia Roberts in My Best Friend's Wedding, Shah Rukh Khan in Kabhi Haan, Kabhi Naa.
2) To Sir Without Love:
Lavishly covering the sides of professors' tables with thick layers of chalk to ensure a lasting impression on his trousers; anonymous caricatures on the blackboard; graffiti on the walls, desks, chairs. (Sometimes executed with compasses and blades); housing frogs and other unlovable creepy-crawlies in drawers and cupboards; engineering flat tyres.
Role models: Any coming-of-age teen flick, campus movie.
3) Darr-ty, Rotten Scoundrels:
Stalkers. Roadside Romeos who take Def Leppard's `two steps behind' a little too literally: "You can run but you can never hide. From the shadow that's creeping up beside you." Crank callers who breathe like they've just completed a fifty-kilometre marathon. Guys who just don't take a hint — even when it's a not so subtle "Buzz off."
Role model: Shah Rukh Kh Kh Kh Kh Khan.
4) The Blah Witch Project:
People who cry werewolf at the drop of a tube light. Every power cut, you can count on them to howl, shriek and hoot in a spooky-owl way to frighten their less intelligent classmates. Professional ghost story tellers who could teach Night Shyamalan a thing or two about the things that really go bump in the night. Or dress up bed sheets with lurid tomato sauce to teach hostelites the unpleasant `truth' about the dark side of the moon.
Role model: Every senior batch has one. Ask the freshers.
5) Cruel Intentions:
Classmates who could be star recruits in Ekta Kapoor's serials (perhaps titled `Kampus Ke Khiladi' or `Kool Kollege Klasses?) for their sheer evil cunning when it comes to sabotaging other people's work. Their devilishly devious scheming includes upsetting water over painstakingly made notes, stealing notebooks just before an exam, framing classmates with false charges to eliminate competition. Or plain and simple violence.
Role model: Pick any one of Ekta's vamps or villains.
6) The Drunken Monkeys:
Normally wimpy guys who suddenly turn from geeks to freaks when they acquire a burst of bravado thanks to the litres of alcohol swishing about inside them.
Tend to gang up on people they normally wouldn't take on — but only when they outnumber them ten to one. Courage in a bottle apparently comes in small doses.
SUDHISH KAMATH
SHONALI MUTHALALY
Printer friendly
page
Send this article to Friends by
E-Mail
Metro Plus
Bangalore
Chennai
Hyderabad
|
