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BRIDE and prejudice
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There is gender bias in matrimonial columns says, JESSINA ABOOBACKER.
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EVER ANALYSED a matrimonial column? Marriages may be made in heaven but it is the subtly worded wedding advertisements that pass judgement before the ring is on the finger.
A clear prejudice is seen when one reads between the lines of a Brides Wanted column, and not in a Bridegroom Wanted one.
It is for us to decipher them, in the way they have been conveyed, lest we miss what is being said between the lines. It has a language of its own and demands conveyed subtly. It is probably the magnum opus of the entire family, decided at the dinner table, well worded to target the right daughter-in-law, because here it is not just a husband she is marrying but the whole family unit.
Fair and lovely
The groom here in question may be of any complexion, even a noxious one like jaundice yellow or a grotesque black but the bride has to be milk white to pass the acid test. Wheatish or browns, excuse please, better luck next time! And of course, good looking. Not that they want their daughter to contest for the Mrs. India contest. People should shower compliments on their daughter-in-laws. This is a fundamental category.
Slim. As thin as possible, but this status only for the betrothal and wedding ceremony. Soon after the marriage you are expected to put on extra kilos to let the onlookers be convinced that you are well looked after, at your in-laws place. Traditional. Beware! Here we have a conservative family, who will enquire into your past, your activities and will have a list of utterly impertinent queries. Homely. This definitely does not connote in the euphemistic sense, which means ordinary looking and down- to-earth. What they are implying is that she is home loving and has not really freaked out a lot, like their son has with his numerous girl friends.
Convent educated
What they are conveying is that English has become mandatory and that they will need the grand children to be well taught at home once they are admitted into one of the prestigious schools. But then again who does not know the language these days. But, only the language, not the mannerisms please.
Profession and salary
Professional girls are much in demand, that too specific ones. A doctor for a doctor. a lawyer for a lawyer and likes. The name of this sport is synergy. Salary is a modern concept. It is expected of you to be home loving as well as a good earner. Now how you do this balancing act is another ability. Some demand the figure in which you should be earning, inflation has hit this market as well.
Non- resident Indians
Here is a passport to some quick buck, as well as a job or residence visa. This is easier than applying at the foreign consulates. Also the dowry will come in a bigger package.
No dowry
This is not a very common item though. Because everybody wants this item secretly. But this demand on the advertisements, implies very less of the dowry. But there will be other expectations that are discussed personally.
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Metro Plus
Bangalore
Chennai
Coimbatore
Delhi
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Kochi
Madurai
Thiruvananthapuram
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Visakhapatnam
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