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Parents should understand that children, especially in today's ferociously competitive world, deserve a say in their choice of career, says teacher and counsellor Sujatha Balakrishnan
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Sujatha Balakrishnan: `Every parent wants his child to be a doctor or an engineer.' — Photo: K. Bhagya Prakash
"WHAT DO children these days want to do? And what do their parents want of them? There's always some friction when these two opinions are compared. Parents of today need to develop a broader outlook regarding their child's career options.
"It is indeed the ultimate dream of every parent to provide the best platform for the apple of his/her eye. But most are under the misconception that this can be achieved only through academics. They don't realise that many times, they unintentionally overdo things by pressurising their child to achieve something that s/he is not cut out for.
Herd mentality
"It always happens that a doctor or an engineer would want his ward to pursue his profession, whether the child likes it or not. The poor child is left with no other option but to listen to his parents because of fear. This results in a lot of anxiety and tension in the child.
"On the one side, the child has other ambitions, while on the other, he wants to be accepted and loved by the parents. It is here that parents fail to recognise the interest of the child and indulge in conditional love — `I will love you only if you do as I say'. This is the root cause of most of the problems faced by today's children. Of course, it is the parents' right to expect the child to achieve dreams that they were unable to fulfil, but parents must accept the child's feelings too as valid.
"For instance, a child may be gifted with music sense but may not be appreciated by the parents. And so they will say that `not every one can become an M.S. Subbulakshmi or Bhimsen Joshi'. The child's desire is crushed, leaving him frustrated. I can't understand why parents cannot think positively. The bitter truth is that the age-old myth that `academics is everything' is imbibed in them.
"We should thank our stars that today, we have so many vocational courses that children have a variety of career avenues to choose from.
"It is high time that parents come out of their traditional and outdated way of thinking and become more encouraging and understanding. Every child has some inherent potential.
"Accepting the child for what s/he is a parent's responsibility. It could be done if one makes an earnest effort. It looks like more than children needing counselling for their future career, it is the parents who are in need of it with great urgency. Being a counsellor/teacher, I strongly feel this could help them understand their child's capacity/feelings better.
Friends and guides
"Today's children are focussed and what they expect in a parent is trust. We must be good friends and guides who will help them achieve their goals. How wonderful it would be if every parent develops an attitude to nurture the child's aptitude and make the world a better place for happier and healthier children. So let us all as parents come together and stand by our children in the career they wish to pursue. Better late than never."
As told to ROHINI MOHAN
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