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Five steps to happiness

Work towards a stable and loving relationship to ward off depression

HAVING A warm and stable relationship is important for emotional health. Feeling loved wards off depression and fills one with a sense of well being.

Try to live your lives with one basic tenet - we should be good human beings. That should be your creed and conviction.

The 5 C's of a good relationship:

Courtesy: A `thank you' and a `please' go a long way in letting your partner know that he is really cherished and appreciated. When we are angry with a stranger, we don't let our tongues go out of control. Then why is it that the person dearest to us becomes the recipient of our rudeness?

Communication: This is the cornerstone of a strong relationship. Never, ever, let the sun set on a fight. You may not resolve a conflict, but never go to bed angry at each other. Always be friends, because friends can have disagreements but then have the courtesy to listen to the other's point of view. Don't let silence come between the two of you because the silence will lengthen insidiously, and then become insurmountable. Remember, a sense of humour is the best defence against disasters in a relationship.

Compromise: If you notice, it is the grass that bends with the wind that survives the storm, not the unyielding tree. Compromise is not demeaning; it is only a way around some irresolvable issues. There is no winner or loser if both of you meet each other halfway. You need not be a doormat but some issues can be resolved only when each gives in a little.

Caring: In the first flush of love, it seems impossible that caring can ever disappear. But it is an emotion that needs to be constantly nurtured, because without loving attention, it will wither away. Everyday remember to tell each other how lucky you are to have the other in your life. It is important to verbalise your feelings.

Commitment: The decision to go ahead with a relationship seems to imply that there is a commitment. But this commitment has to be renewed constantly, day after day. There will be times when you will be tempted to throw up your hands in despair, but leaving the relationship should never, ever be an option. Also, remember, that though the commitment was made to a person in the beginning, it should survive as a commitment to the relationship itself. That is the basic tenet for a lifetime of lasting bonds.

GITA ARJUN

(The author is a Chennai-based obstetrician and gynaecologist with a special interest in women's health issues)

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