Heart to heart
A little care and consideration for others will go a long way towards strengthening relationships
Getting along with people means giving something of yourself, being friendly, showing concern...
I like you, you like me
The world is good-natured to people who are
- William Makepeace Thackeray
I BELIEVE this message should be splashed on big banners and displayed everywhere! It seems as if people have forgotten how to be in harmony with others. There is more comfort in interacting with computers.
They don't make any demands, there are no expectations, you can turn them on, or off, depending on your mood; they definitely don't have needs that you have to take note of and cater to.
Adjustments are not easy
The problem with the walking, talking entities coexisting with you at home and work is that you just cannot wish them away.
At some point you have to learn to adjust and get along with them. This process is not that easy and can test your patience because of people's different attitudes, working styles, goals and moods.
In a nutshell, getting along with people means giving something of yourself, being friendly, showing concern, putting your immediate agenda aside and exhibiting a liking to do things for others.
Getting along requires time and thought because you are affecting someone's life with your thoughts and actions, which in turn, affects your life. The pleasure others feel in being with you is the reward for this expression of care.
Use your head and heart to show someone you really care. The process of using the head consists of logic and thinking and the process of using the heart is based on feelings. You can show your concern in many different ways.
Ways to show concern
For starters, you need to be sincere in this endeavour. There is no room for "put on" behaviour.
Always treat others, as you would like to be treated. Tone down the tendency to talk about yourself all the time; refrain from doing everything possible to be the centre of attention. Be sincerely interested in the other person.
Direct the conversation to the other individual and his interests. Don't get into arguments for the sake of being controversial. If you think that makes you interesting company - you are completely off the mark!
Be a comfortable sort of person so that there is no strain in being with you - meaning, don't take yourself and everybody and everything seriously.
Lighten up and let your sense of humour come through. Be stimulating. If being with you makes people feel better, people will want to be with you; your personal relations will be excellent. Avoid being on edge and oversensitive.
People instinctively shy away from `the super-sensitive', fearing they might inadvertently tread upon the abundant supply of sensitive spots. Sincerely make an attempt to heal every misunderstanding that you may have with other individuals.
Drain off your grievances and maintain an attitude of goodwill with every one.
Perform outgoing acts of friendship. Sincere self-giving leads to pleasant personal relations. Resist the temptation to spread gossip in order to fit in, or get ahead.
Resist the temptation to compromise on your values in order to fit in or get ahead. Be polite and respect the moods of others. You are not the only one who is entitled to have a bad day.
Don't ever show off or try to impress your fellow beings. However subtle you think you are, people sniff it and tune you out.
In short, you determine how others accept you and deal with you; it is not the other way around. The magic is to show care, concern and consideration to others and you receive it back tenfold from everyone around you.
CHITRA S. DANGER
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