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Two to tango
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Working couples go all out to keep the romance alive in their marriages, says DEEPA ALEXANDER
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Photo: Parth Sanyal
THIS MAY sound like the story of your life. You've been working round the clock. Gulping down meals. Playing telephone tag with each other's voice mail. Sitting at the computer for hours, your only connection. You can hardly remember what your partner looks like, let alone recall what romance is.
When you met your wife-to-be years ago there were roses, dinner and maybe even the moon. Now that the years have come and gone, all you want to do is relax in front of the television after a hard day's work. Being romantic is the last thing on your mind. Besides, who needs all that mushy stuff anyway?
But believe it or faint, if you think romance in working couples who have crushing careers, is like a vestigial remain of some slushy era where lovers dawdled over sweet nothings, think again. You have no idea what some people do for love.
Stories to tell
Most starry-eyed newly-weds take off to exotic lands in a cloud of confetti. But says the Speaker of the State Legislative Assembly, K.R. Suresh Reddy, "I always wanted to honeymoon in Switzerland but it was only many years later that we could afford it. When we got there, my wife and I felt like newly weds. We take a yearly vacation and now our children accompany us. The romance is still on but it's understated."
Anand Gose, Satyam Employee; Koeli Mukherjee Ghose, Art curator
Then are couples who don't just live together but work together too, finding romance perhaps in the line for the fax machine. "That's not true," laughs Kangan Bhalla. "Atul, my husband and I work in an organisation where we are so busy creating the romance for others. But it's important to have quality time and in that we are not lacking."
This is one romance that was written in the stars. Manjari and Vijay Prasad are physicists and love star-gazing. "We were on vacation in Saskatchewan. Without city lights, the night sky looked like a sea of stars. We bought a constellation guide and although most configurations looked the same, with our arms around each other it didn't matter if the Big Dipper looked like a bear or an old saucepan. Then one night it happened. The Northern Lights burst across the sky. I'd never seen them before - it was a stunning sight. Whenever I see stars I think of that night and the feeling of being close comes rushing."
Says Henry Jose who is a marriage counsellor, "It is very important to keep romance alive in a marriage, but it does not mean only holding hands and gushing over roses. Finding the time to do anything together even if it's trivial is good. And from time to time everyone needs to hear those three precious words."
Tejdeep Menon, ACP Traffic
Finding time for the simple things is what Koeli Mukherjee and her husband, Anand Ghose do best. Koeli says, "Anand works late into the night but we still manage to catch a movie at home." Anand says he's trying to make up for that, "I'm planning to take off from work on Valentine's Day."
Tejdeep Menon, IPS (ACP Traffic) says, "You need someone to tell you that it's okay especially when the outside world is hard on you. Finding time is important no matter how busy you are. It's the key to keeping the romance in your marriage alive no matter how old your marriage is."
K.R. Suresh Reddy, Speaker, A.P. Legislative Assembly.
Yesteryear romance maybe passé and love a changed phenomenon. Telescoping timelines and life's practicalities may have replaced mushy romances with coffee table flings. But there are still wives who rush home from work with jalebis, all the while cursing the traffic and not the husband who has all of a sudden grown a sweet tooth. Try it sometime. After all, we are talking about syrupy mush isn't it?
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