Metro Plus
Bangalore
Chennai
Coimbatore
Delhi
Hyderabad
Kochi
Grandmom? Look again
|
Grandmoms in their forties? Yes, but they enjoy the role to the hilt.
|
Pics. by R. Ragu
GRANDMOTHER. WHAT kind of images does the word conjure up in your mind? Wrinkled faces, toothless smiles, silvery hair, wobbly walk and a person aged sixty plus? Well, there are plenty of women who demand a rethink of the stereotype. Grandmoms can be younger, look fitter and take much more care about their appearance. They have lives of their own but enjoy their role as grandmothers to the hilt.
Meet Alagu Muthu, secretary, National Association of the Blind, one of the many women who feel it is not a disadvantage to become a grandmother when one is forty-something. "Becoming a grandmother makes some people feel old. But I didn't. I accepted it as another joyous phase in my life. It didn't change my lifestyle or outlook. I want to party, I still do that. At the same time, I perform my grandmotherly duties as well."
Gita Menon, Area Manager, Jet Air, and a grandmother of one, observes: "Earlier, donning the role of a grandparent was different. Grandmothers were treated differently. But I think it's all in the mind. Becoming a grandmom does not make me feel old. There's no need to behave like an old person or even pretend to be one."
Some women like Asha Hemdev changed their minds about what it is to be a grandmom after actually becoming one. "When the first baby came, I said, `Oh God, I don't want to be a grandmother and be called nani.' But after that, I began to enjoy my grandchildren," says Asha, who has an active social life and is involved with various organisations. Summing it up, Hija Mohandas, who raises her grandchild as her daughter and son-in-law are in the U.K., says: "You can't dispute this. It's a nice feeling."
Advantages
Whatever their initial reaction, the one thing they agree upon is that having grandchildren early (i.e. while in their forties) has certain advantages.
As Alagu Muthu points out: "There are so many things which I may not have been able to do had I been sixty-plus. Now, I am able to run around and play with them — sometimes even get on my fours with them. It makes it so much easier when one is younger. What's more, they also think of me as someone closer to their age. I feel very happy because I can communicate well with them." Confesses Hija: "I was the one who told my daughter to have the baby early because you have more energy and patience. And I don't regret it."
And if Gita Menon is game to play ball or run a race with her grandson and do a lot of physical activities, which she "hasn't done for years," it's because she hasn't crossed the 50-year mark yet.
In Asha's case, the five grandchildren who live in the same city don't really need her to entertain them. "But it's definitely an excellent idea to have grandchildren when you are young. I can talk to them on a lot of subjects."
What are the other activities these grandmoms indulge in with their grandchildren as opposed to the ones they shared with their own grandparents? Alagu Muthu remembers her grandmother "leaving the grandchildren in the care of devoted household staff. But today, though there is help, the children spend so much more time with us because we are doing things with them — we are on the computer with them, watch TV in their company, go to movies or shop with them. You're learning from them all the time as much as they are from you."
For Hija, the role includes "clowning around, reading books to her grandchild, taking her on piggy back and making the little one eat."
What is endearing is that each grandmother has her own set of rituals. In Asha's family, Saturday is the day for her and the grandchildren to meet over lunch. "I make all their favourite dishes. I wouldn't sacrifice that for anything. I enjoy the children minus the responsibility of having to raise them myself," says Asha.
Whenever Alagu's two grandchildren who are in Singapore come to Chennai, she leaves everything and looks after them. She also visits them periodically in Singapore, which is when she finds "real quality time because all my other commitments are put on hold."
And there are certain things that only Gita will do for her grandson like "sterilising his bottles or cooking his favourite food." Besides the perennial complaint that grandmoms spoil the grandchildren with all the attention and by giving in to their whims, the only difficulty according to Hija seems to be "caring for the youngsters when they are ill — particularly in the absence of their parents."
"It was a tremendous responsibility nursing my grandson when he was down with broncho pneumonia," says Gita.
Times have changed, so has the outlook. Yet some things will always remain - like the emotional bond that grandmothers share with their grandchildren.
SUDHA UMASHANKER
Printer friendly
page
Send this article to Friends by
E-Mail
Metro Plus
Bangalore
Chennai
Coimbatore
Delhi
Hyderabad
Kochi
|
