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Building bonds

The magic of harmonious relationships lies in a people-friendly approach



For lasting friendships: Spreading warmth and cheer ensures harmony all around

The world is good-natured to people who are good-natured.

- William Makepeace Thackeray

THIS MESSAGE should, perhaps, be splashed all over town. It seems as if people have forgotten how to be in harmony with others.

There is more comfort in interacting with a computer since it does not make any demands, there are no expectations and you can turn it on or off depending on your mood. If the machine is not functioning up to your level of expectations or say, you are getting into a dysfunctional relationship with it — you can always get rid of it. It is so simple! The problem with the walking, talking entities coexisting with you at home and at work is that you have to learn to adjust and get along with them. This process is not easy and can test your patience because people come with different attitudes, working styles, goals and moods.

In a nutshell, getting along with people means giving something of yourself, being friendly, showing concern, putting your immediate agenda aside and exhibiting a liking to do things for others.

Use your head (logic and thinking) and heart (feelings) to show someone you really care. You can show your concern and interest in many different ways.

  • For starters, you need to be sincere in this endeavour. Don't pretend.

  • Always treat others as you would like to be treated.

  • Tone down the tendency to talk about yourself all the time; refrain from doing everything possible to be the centre of attention.

  • Be sincerely interested in the other person. Direct the conversation to the other individual and his interests.

  • Don't be stingy with compliments and overly generous with criticism.

  • Don't get into arguments for the sake of being controversial. If you think that makes you an interesting person to be with, you are completely off the mark!

  • Be a comfortable sort of person; don't take yourself and everybody and everything seriously. Lighten up and let your sense of humour come through.

  • Be stimulating. If being with you makes people feel better, people will want to be with you; your personal relations will be excellent.

  • Avoid being on the edge and oversensitive. People instinctively shy away from `the super-sensitive,' fearing that they might inadvertently tread upon sensitive spots. Sincerely make an attempt to heal every misunderstanding that you may have with other individuals. Drain off your grievances and maintain an attitude of goodwill with everyone.

  • Perform outgoing acts of friendship. Sincere self-giving leads to pleasant personal relations.

  • Resist the temptation to spread gossip or to compromise on your values in order to fit in, or get ahead.

  • Be polite and respect the moods of others. You are not the only one who is entitled to have a bad day.

  • Don't ever show off or try to impress your fellow beings. However subtle you think you are, people sniff it and tune you out.

    In short, you determine how others accept you and deal with you; it is not the other way around. The magic is to show care, concern and consideration to others and you receive it back tenfold from everyone around you.

    CHITRA S. DANGER

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