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Balancing act
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A woman's role in a family is central to its synchronisation
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RAGINI FEELS pressured all the time. She loves her work and invests a large portion of her time in her job. At the same time, she is beset by guilt because she feels that she is not bestowing as much time on her children as non-working mothers do. For centuries, the family has been deemed as a priceless source of joy.
A happy family life is what women treasure most. But achieving a balance between work and family roles is always a big challenge for working mothers. Culturally and traditionally, Indian women form the nucleus of the family. They are responsible for the family's emotional, physical and mental health. They are expected to help their spouse, participate in their children's education, and take care of the elders. Most working women feel frazzled all the time. They feel torn between the pull of the family and the pressures of their job. Sometimes life seems too complicated. This leads to stress related health problems, both physical and mental.
Simplify your life
Start by asking yourself these questions:
What is important to me?
How well do my daily activities mirror my values?
Do I neglect issues that matter to me because I'm busy spending time on things that matter less?
Once you have the answers to these questions, you will be able to organise and enjoy your life more. You can be everything to everybody.
Learn to show your love for your family in small ways — it's the everyday things you do to take care of and support your family that matter. There are times when your husband is vulnerable and beset with problems, worries, and anxieties. Listen to him. Show your understanding and encouragement. Your verbalised support matters. Simply reach out to the people you care for. Call a family member or a friend who has been out of touch; do something nice for a loved one.
Staying connected When it comes to taking care of your children, appreciation and setting limitations work in some circumstances, but communication is still the best way to stay connected.Their healthy growth and development depends heavily on family learning, especially good sense handed down from mothers. Unconditional lovecan help them go smoothly through that precarious time of adolescence and young adulthood.
Being a family together
Indian youth are likely to stay with parents for a longer time. By listening and being open with your children, you have a great effect on their lives and promote continuity and harmony within the family.
Recall the emotions you had at the birth of your child. Try to get back to that moment in your mind, remembering the hopes and dreams you had. Share it with your family members.
Learn to understand your child's feelings and points of view. Have discussions, share your thoughts with your children and listen to their ideas and thoughts.
Take a nature walk with your family: A walk will relax you and reduce stress and bind the family together.
Read books with your children and also share your thoughts about what you are reading.
Sharing the load
Job responsibility can be a heavy load to carry alone. Keep up your confidence by valuing what you have already achieved. Frustrations are unavoidable, so share them with family members to help you find solace and support. A mother's mood always plays an important role in the quality of family life. Coping with the demands of each role and nurturing each family member sometimes becomes stressful.
Find the trigger points for family strife. Discuss them with your family and work out compromises. A family can be like a well-choreographed dance. A woman's role is central to the synchronisation of everybody's part in the family.
To ensure a path to better health, discover a rhythm between your family and work life.
GITA ARJUN
(The author is a Chennai-based obstetrician and gynaecologist with a special interest in women's health issues)
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