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Women & Wellness
Be happy, be healthy
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You deserve to be happy. Look for simple pleasures that engulf you with unexpected highs
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LIFE IS stressful and taxing for most people, in this era driven by achievement and status seeking. Only little children can demand and receive happiness unconditionally. Everybody humours children despite their tantrums, their self-centred existence and their calm disregard of anything beyond their small sphere. Their expectations of happiness are not predicated by anything except fulfilment of their basic needs. A hug, a warm meal, a bright toy, or the mere presence of their parents is enough to make children beam with happiness and contentment.
Adults, on the other hand, are complex creatures. Contemporary lifestyles have created a sense of anxiety and trepidation arising from the relentless pursuit of the bigger and the better. An alarming number of people are walking around with the complaint, "I just don't feel well at all." A large number of people also feel cheated because they feel they have not been rewarded with the happiness that hard work and long hours are supposed to bring.
Stress-related diseases are on the rise. Diseases such as hypertension, diabetes, heart disease, anxiety and depression and even some cancers are precipitated or worsened by stress. One of the best ways to remain healthy is to actively pursue happiness.
What is happiness?
Happiness is not the mere absence of sadness. It is a dynamic, positive, pulsating energy that fills you with a sense of well-being.
Being content is the basic answer to happiness.
It is regrettable that people very often do not perceive that they are happy. Lost in the pursuit of changes in their life, which supposedly guarantees them this elusive emotion, they don't devote time to being happy.
Thich Nhat Hanh, the Vietnamese Zen master, in a lovely fable, describes a man who woke up at night with a severe toothache. Unable to get any medical attention till morning, he cried out that he would be in paradise if he could just be rid of the toothache. Of course, he did not realise that in the 364 days of the year when he did not have the toothache, he had actually been in paradise!
Recognition of happiness
Every day, you must look at all the reasons you have to be happy. As Kalidasa said: "Yesterday is but a dream, and tomorrow is only a vision." Unfortunately, we often predicate our happiness on what could have happened yesterday or what we wish would happen tomorrow. And while we are berating the past or dreading the future, we let present happiness slip away without acknowledging it. John Barrymore said: "Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open."
Make a list every day
When you go through the day, look for simple pleasures that can fill you with unexpected joy. If you wake up early enough to see a stunning sunrise, take the time to enjoy it. If your husband stands by your side in the kitchen in the morning and shares a quiet joke with you, bask in that unanticipated happiness. Just the spontaneous hug that your child gives you when you come home from work should make you feel engulfed in a blanket of pleasure. Precious moments like these sometimes slip away unrecognised and uncelebrated.
Be prepared for happiness; you deserve it.
Women particularly tend to burden themselves with undeserved guilt. They believe that they are solely responsible for guaranteeing the happiness of the whole family. Remember that though the woman is the pivot around which the family revolves, she cannot be the exclusive mood setter for the family. What is true is that when you are happy, you will act as a mood elevator for the whole family.
Do things for your exclusive happiness
Dress up, and treat yourself to a midweek lunch with your special someone.
Buy yourself a bunch of flowers and celebrate the fact that you are who you are.
Curl up with a good book and don't tell your husband that the glow in your eyes is from the hero!
Plan the pithy and humorous thing you would say if Aamir Khan bumped against you in the supermarket. It doesn't hurt to dream and definitely makes washing dishes almost a pleasant chore!
Find at least one thing in the day to laugh about with your husband, children, or friend.
Smile at everybody you meet — you will find that it is always returned and you will be the richer for it.
Pay a compliment to a person who least expects it — and then bask in the warmth of their joy.
Embrace happiness. Helen Keller said: "Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within." You deserve to be happy. Don't deny yourself this most precious of human emotions.
GITA ARJUN
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