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Happiness is...

Look for simple pleasures that can fill you with unexpected joy

LIFE IS stressful and taxing for most people, in this era of overachievement and status seeking. Only little children can demand and receive happiness unconditionally. Their expectations of happiness are not predicated by anything except the fulfilment of their basic needs. A hug, a warm meal, a bright toy, or the mere presence of their parents is enough to make them beam with happiness and contentment.

Adults, on the other hand, are complex creatures. Contemporary lifestyles have created a sense of anxiety and trepidation, arising from our relentless pursuit of the bigger and the better. A large number of people also feel cheated because they feel that they have not been rewarded with the happiness that hard work and long hours are supposed to bring them.

Stress related diseases are on the rise. One of the best ways to remain healthy is to actively pursue happiness.

What is happiness

Happiness is not the mere absence of sadness. It is a dynamic, positive, pulsating energy that fills you with a sense of well-being. Being content is the basic answer to happiness. It is regrettable that people very often do not perceive that they are happy. Lost in the pursuit of changes in their life, which supposedly would guarantee them this elusive emotion, they do not devote time to being happy.

The Vietnamese Zen master, Thich Nhat Hanh, tells a lovely fable. He describes the man who woke up at night with a severe toothache. Unable to get any medical attention till the next morning, the man whimpered that he would be in paradise if he could just be rid of the toothache. As he said it, he did not realise that in the 364 days of the year that he did not have the toothache, he had actually been in paradise!

Recognising happiness

Everyday, you must look at all the reasons you have to be happy. As Kalidasa said, "Yesterday is but a dream, and tomorrow is only a vision." Unfortunately, we often predicate our happiness on what could have happened yesterday or what we wish would happen tomorrow. And while we are berating the past or dreading the future, we let present happiness slip away without acknowledging it. John Barrymore said, "Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open."

When you go through the day, look for simple pleasures that can fill you with unexpected joy. If you woke up early enough to see a stunning sunrise, take the time to enjoy it. If your husband stood by your side in the kitchen in the morning and shared a quiet joke with you, bask in that unanticipated happiness.

Just the spontaneous hug that your child gave you when you came home from work should make you feel engulfed in a blanket of pleasure. Precious moments like these sometimes slip away unrecognised and uncelebrated. Be prepared for happiness; you deserve it.

Women particularly tend to burden themselves with undeserved guilt. They believe that they are solely responsible for guaranteeing the happiness of the whole family. Remember that though a woman is the pivot around which the family revolves, she cannot be the exclusive mood setter for the family. What is true is that when you are happy, you will act as a mood elevator for the whole family.

Do things for yourself