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`We're the best of friends'
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Chinese Chef Anthony and Thai Chef Boon Song wage a war of the spices
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They share the same passion — food. Working together as they are at The Oberoi, they are the best of friends. And the worst of enemies too. They're addicted to each other, and yet can't talk to the other without starting a fight. One is ser, smart and can come up with the best one-liners. The other's a born clown and speaks his own inimitable brand of English. You wonder if the guy has been hijacked straight out of a Jackie Chan film!
Photo: sampath kumar g.p.
SHILPA SEBASTIAN R. is delighted to present Chinese Chef Anthony and Thai Chef Boon Song.
Anthony: Thai food has been hijacked from China. You guys have taken the best from China and India and added all your spices and called it Thai food.
Boon Song: That's your story! Thai food spicy and Chinese food not. How that?
A: You rob the vegetables from us. You take priests from India and they give you herbs and chillies!
BS: No, we no hijack, only take from another country, choose the best. See the spices from India, goooood, so we take it. Vegetables from China, goooood, so we take it. Still, your flavour not so strong. We have strong flavour.
A: No, you only put fish sauce in all your food.
BS: Yeah, that's a big difference! Like you use soy sauce.
A: Maybe you use it because you like all smelly things in life.
BS: Fish sauce's not bad smelly. It's nice smelly!
A: See, that's Thai food. They use strong flavoured herbs to kill the smell of the fish sauce. They even have to use strong perfume to kill the smell!
BS: We eating strong flavour, that's why our body also strong. Thai men so strong that some have 10 wives!
(Er, wouldn't that take them straight to jail? we wonder.)
BS: No, it's OK in Thailand. It's also in the Guinness Book. A Thai man named Kor (pronounced Kwah) has 14 wives!
A: Why are you getting so excited?
BS: (Flexing his muscles) It means Thai food very strong! How many wives have you got?
A: Chinese give their best to one wife.
BS: Ahhhhh! And have 15 children?
A: That's better than 15 wives and 15 children. How many wives have you got, by the way?
BS: My wife kill me if I do anything like that.
A: (To us) He's unlucky because his wife is an army officer in Thailand. She even walks around the house with a gun. (Turning to him) What is your wife in the army?
BS: Sergeant.
A: Where did you meet her?
BS: I met her when I work in a hotel and stay in the army for some time as a visitor. A: So, your wife chased you?
BS: Yes.
(With a gun? we ask)
A: That's why you had no choice. Poor you! How long did she chase you?
BS: Two years. And we also spoke to each other on the phone for six months before marriage.
A: Even now he talks to his wife on the phone.
BS: Yes, every Mondays. If I miss, she shouting, shouting, shouting... and ask angrily, "What you doing?" (With excellent voice modulation) I say, "In my house." "You drinking alcohol?" she ask. And I say, "Nooooo, onnnnnlllyyy cooofffeee."
A: That's because she knows that when it comes to beer your stomach is a tub. (To us) Whenever we have a kitchen party with 10 bottles of beer, five are for Boon Song.
BS: Ahhh, I know your wife take care of you! I heard you that day in the locker room. She call and say "Anthony, come now!" (Dramatically) and you say, "Yes, Madaaaaam!" and run home.
A: I think that's how it is with everybody.
(So, is one better off with a wife in faraway Thailand? we butt in.)
BS: Ahhhh, Yes! And she also no read this article in Thailand. But his wife will. That's why he's not talking much.
On why they chose to become chefs
BS: A long story. I went to apply to police force in 1978. But they reject me. So I took to the kitchen as there was a lot of demand for chefs then. And I learn my cooking from my mom as a boy. Tell me Anthony, who cooks at home?
A: My wife cooks for me. I cook for my daughter's birthday or special occasions.
On what food they like
A: I like Indian, Chinese and Thai food. In fact, sometimes, I come over to chef Boon Song and ask him to make something for me.
BS: When I angry with him I put more spices in his food. Then he cry, "Boon Song, you want to kill me?"
A: He loves duck. So to get even with him, we shred the meat off and just serve the bones. Even when life is too quiet here, we take the duck bones, garnish it with some exotic sauces and spices and send it across to Boon Song and enjoy the fun!
BS: And you steal fish from my kitchen.
A: It's OK because you have not returned that lobster you took off my shelf.
On men and women in their countries
A: One sees a lot of western influence in a Thai culture. Many Thai women have European husbands. Thai men are useless; that's why the women keep running after foreign men.
BS: No, no, no, no, no. In Thailand men are less. Lady plenty.
A: No, because men are busy cooking in the kitchens. Actually in Thailand you see big number of women on the roads. And you wonder where the Thai men are.
BS: Actually, foreigners like domestic women. Thai women are very soft and make good wives. Only my wife shouting. I don't know why!
(Is that why she ended up with a Thai? we ask.)
BS: Also because I am so handsome. Look my eyes, so much bigger than his and all because of Thai food. We eat spicy food. So, with every bite we open our eyes and mouth wide, so we have bigger eyes. Chinese only drinking hot tea that too by closing their eyes!
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