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Shake that fear off
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Stage fright is not a first-time phenomenon. Quite a few performers have to combat it every time they're up there
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Photo: TIMOTHY A. CLARY
NOT JUST THE FIRST TIME There are performers whose legs turn to jelly each time.
"WHY ME?" is an oft-repeated howl from artists, faced with a gnawing feeling before or during a performance. Those butterflies in the stomach, breathlessness, knee joints suddenly turning to jelly, all point to one thing: stage fright.
Talking about this phenomenon, danseuse Soumya insists there is just no escape from its clammy hold. "I am yet to find a performer who does not feel this way," she acknowledges. "Believe me, it is easier to pick the nuances of the art than overcoming stage-induced panic pangs."
It is a conviction that stems from a simple truth: whatever you lack in skill, you can make up through practice, but here, with all the expectations, adulation, attention, and what have you, there is just no remedy in sight. The fact is that you are never sure how the audience will warm up to a performance. The fear is then built in the mind, and plays over and over again, refusing to go even with sustained efforts.
"Nothing is certain, right?" contends Bharatanatya exponent Aparna. "The initial nervousness stems from all the investment. After all, no one wants to make a mess of a performance having gone through it all."
Handicap
Though practice makes perfect, anxious moments abound even in veterans. "It has been a decade and nothing has changed," mulls dancer Seema. "I guess it does not make a difference. No matter where, no matter what, whether someone is watching or not, stage fright is a true handicap. I still get bouts of anxiety attacks. Dance, theatre or anchoring (an event), it comes with all its fury. The good thing is that I have not allowed it to rule other aspects of my life."
Agrees Nikhil, a contemporary dancer: "My friends used to criticise me a lot. There was this event in school and the troupe leader had just finished putting us through the paces. Everything was working fine but when I heard the audience cheering, bang it hit me! The shaking, fear and what not! You won't believe that this was after a series of rehearsals. You just cannot dispel it even though I know I can fare better, seriously."
"I wouldn't say it's stage fright but these are anxious moments," notes dance guru Padmaja Suresh of Kalpataru Kalavihar. "Even after years of practice, every performance is like an examination," she acknowledges. "The urge to score good grades is all-pervasive." Padmaja believes confidence and avoiding potential distractions are the key. "Some make the mistake of looking out for people they know in the audience. That can have a telling effect," she warns.
While prayers and meditation rank high in a classical performer's agenda, others go to great lengths to embrace success. And then there are those who openly admit to substance (ab)use to muster up the courage.
"I know of artistes who chew paan before a performance," laughs Sai Suma, who, prior to a show, makes it a point to pray. "As a group, we go into a huddle, pray and hug. It does work wonders," she shares. So do Aparna and her troupe at Kalpataru Kalavihar. "I know I am forgetful, so rehearsals are a must," she says. "I always pray for the guru's blessings to ease the tensions heralding a show."
According to Ashok Kumar, a percussionist and theatre person, the intensity varies. "Music is a personal and spiritual journey," he explains. "I am in another world and it is up to the audience to tag along."
Mercifully, make-up sessions and mirrors have a calming influence on artistes. "I am a nervous wreck before a show but make-up sessions have a calming influence on me," confesses model Sangita Basu.
Do people completely get over stage fright? Yes, with time. Practice, exercises and making decisions with complete honesty and trust in your abilities could be a starting point. Says Ashok: "Obviously, there are compromises you make along the way but that should not be construed to mean fear or panic."
JOHN PATRICK OJWANDO
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