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Whither the age of innocence?
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The recent incidents of rape in Delhi reiterate that an insensitive society is equally culpable. Some food for thought by SANGEETA BAROOAH PISHAROTY
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We have to inculcate healthy habits in our children Kiran Bedi
PHOTO: PARTH SANYAL
THE CROSS THAT IS UPON US: Women are not safe in the Capital, and like this four-year-old awaiting justice from an insensitive system, find age provides no safety zones
The songs of spring have always that flirting, wooing note in them. A roadside Romeo throwing such a number at a girl passing by has the chance of meeting a coy smile in a small town even today! Blame the weather, even the leaves flirt with each other in vasant! Seen on a bigger canvas, not just the songs of spring but many golden oldies are actually a forceful try at persuading a gal to fall for a guy. Numbers like `Urre Jab Jab Zulfain Teri, Kawariyon Ka Dil Machlein... ' and Akele Akele kaha jarahe ho... ' are beautiful songs but provided enough fodder for the roadside Romeos. But honestly, you didn't mind them, did you?
No longer innocuous
But then, those were the days of innocuous flirting. What today's girls, even middle-aged women and grandmas (remember the recent incident of a 22-year-old's sexual assault on an 80-year-old woman in Delhi?) face on the road, in public transport, at market places, etc., even in broad daylight, is far from harmless. That it has now stooped to songs like `Kabhi Mere Saath Koi Raat Guzaar...' on the road is old news. Dare not smile at any overture of an eve-teaser, for he would surely think you are `easy.' The minute you get angry, you are a possible victim of any kidnap, criminal assault or even acid thrown at the face! Increasing instances suggest that there is no age bar when it comes to harassing a woman now. At Delhi bus stops, one can easily notice so many men in vehicles trying to get the attention of a lonely girl waiting for a bus. Beware, one of them could be your neighbourhood uncle!
So sad, the beauty of wooing, the oldest urge on earth, has been reduced to a wanton display of lust. And particularly for Delhi, it comes with a sadder rider - The country's capital is no longer safe for women. Every other day, newspapers and channels flash tales of sexual assault on women. Statistics vouch for rising incidents across the city. Delhi Chief Minister Sheila Dikshit goes on record saying the city is not safe for women anymore. Yet the more prudish in this hypocritical society still insist on terming it eve teasing!
Says super cop Kiran Bedi, "We usually blame the law, the police for the increasing incidents of assaults on women. But it is the society finally that needs a change of mindset. We have to inculcate healthy habits in our children." The recent MMS case is a horrific reminder of the lack of both.
And who says only the street urchin is up to it? Even the cops are not knights in shining armour. Remember the recent assault on a girl by a cop in Mumbai? And the rapist of a Swiss national in Delhi some time ago came in a sleek car and spoke English.
Underlines Sameer Parekh, psychologist, Max Healthcare, "At least one out of three cases of rape and sexual assault is done under the influence of alcohol and watching violent pornographic movies. You find such people always had conduct disorders as a child or a teenager. Many were victims of violence, abuse as a child and always had no normal relations with females, be it the mother, sister or anybody else." sSo, who is to be blamed? The parents, their teachers or the society? Sounds like a sweeping statement but it has a grain of truth. Noticed in the media after the recent Dhaula Kuan rape case, what many young men of Delhi had to say about North-East girls? Says activist Harsh Mander, "I was born in the North-East and spent most of my childhood there. And since then I have often noticed, especially in North India, that if one's culture does not match that of the majority, one is treated in a colonial manner. This should change." Talking of society's role, Mander laments, "Our society has become market-driven now rather than value-driven."
Points out Hem Bhatnagar, former Principal, Janaki Devi Mahavidyalaya, "There is chaos everywhere and no one knows what is right, what is wrong. In the name of a free society, we are picking up all the wrong values from the West. Our children and youth don't know which way to go and the elders are confused too." She feels the education and legal system need more teeth. Schools should give marks for good behaviour among other things. Universities should revive the system of proctors in classes. "That way, the behavioural problem of a student can easily be identified."
Society can help
And before we get down to putting our house in order, Parekh suggests ways the society can help an assault victim."We have to be victim-friendly. We have to stop saying she asked for it. That top was too tight. Studies have always shown dress hardly matters. The relatives, the investigators should avoid multiple questioning of the victim. That is why 70 per cent of such cases undergo depression, a changed social perspective, hatred towards men, low self-esteem and guilt."
So, it finally boils down to us. If we choose to change, capital punishment for a rapist or no, the law would have much more teeth. Does it then mean calling for a spring-cleaning of our mindset first?
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One for the road
A woman can no longer feel safe with safety pins and stiletto heels, even the trusty umbrella, as weapons to protect her from stalkers, lecherous bus commuters etc. So the Knockout Pepper Spray from Unisafe Technologies at Rs.399 comes as a welcome self-defence device. It can be sprayed from a distance of up to seven feet at an attacker. The attacker is forced to shut the eyes immediately with sneezing and coughing, etc. Said to affect the criminal within a second, the spray remains effective for 30 to 45 minutes and does not have permanent after effects. The company with a helpline, 51410085, and a website, www. knockoutspray.com, promises its delivery.
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