Features: Magazine | Literary Review | Life | Metro Plus | Open Page | Education Plus | Book Review | Business | SciTech | Entertainment | Young World | Property Plus | Quest | Folio |

Mind their language!

Does your child use foul language? Here's how to cope

MOULDING YOUNG MINDS The teacher is certainly a role model for children Photo: K.R. Deepak

A group of children were rapping near a prestigious school in the city. Their harmony would impress any passer-by. Until they noticed the lyrics, that is. The expletives and swearwords falling out of their mouths were enough to make Eminem blush.

This is no longer an isolated phenomenon. Foul language used by children is becoming disturbingly common. In a generation where punctuating every sentence with a four-letter word is considered "cool", this could only be expected. "Many children who use swearwords do so to show that they are hip," says a consultant psychiatrist. These children would normally outgrow this trend as they mature and stop feeling peer-pressure.

However, foul language usage is not limited to a group of children influenced by changing trends. The problem of foul language varies with age groups. The doctor explains: "Most of the smaller children are just experimenting with foul language without knowing the meaning of what they are saying."

These children would have picked up the words from the media or from others and are just trying out new words they have learnt. When one hears a toddler lisp out a curse, the first instinct is to laugh. Ideally, one must not laugh in such circumstances, but that is easier said than done. One cannot help a smile when the child uses such language for the first time but repeated use must be discouraged. Ramesh Natrajan, grandfather of a three-year-old, suggests: "Simply explain to them that this is bad language and that good people do not use such words." We could also tell moral stories to put the point across.

All this is all right with smaller children, but if they are older and know the meaning of the words they use? In such cases we should not scold the child. This child is pleading for attention by using foul language and throwing temper tantrums. "My son once swore at me. I was stunned. Thankfully, I recovered quickly and asked him patiently what was troubling him and if there was anything I could do to help. It was only after we had a nice chat did I request him not to use foul language. I have never heard him swear since," says the father of a 16-year-old.

How to react

There could be occasions when it is someone else's child using foul language. How should one react to this? There is not much one can do about this but we could make it clear to the child that s/he is using language that is not considered respectable and firmly demand its avoidance it in future.

"When any other child uses foul language before my daughter, I tell the child that it is wrong to do so. Later, I also explain to my daughter that the language the other child was using was impolite and that well-mannered people don't use it," states Esther John, who has a school-going daughter.

Socio-economic background bears a huge influence on a child. But not all children from poor socio-economic background use offensive language nor are all children from high socio-economic background courteous in their speech.

What stops some children from using foul words unlike their counterparts? "Parents influence children a lot. Much depends on the upbringing. If bad language is not used or encouraged at home, chances of the child using foul language get reduced," says Bhanumathy Chandran, a school principal. Teachers and school play an important role in character formation of children. The morals imparted by them can have a great impact. Ms. Chandran agrees: "We explain the evils of foul language in our Value Education classes. We also counsel children who use foul language... I feel teachers could be role models for children."

In most cases, using foul language is just a phase. A little guidance, a little patience and a lot of respect for the child as an individual will go a long way in helping the child shed this habit.

VIMIDA M. DAS

Printer friendly page  
Send this article to Friends by E-Mail