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Gossip, the medicine?

You no longer need to feel guilty about gossiping provided it's not harmful

Enjoyable and therapeutic Exchanging tales is good

It started as God-sibb - a person of God. During its long journey through centuries, the word somehow came to mean wicked, unethical and unconstrained conversation. If you accept this definition of gossip, you may have an evil streak in you. There is no getting away from it: all of us gossip. Nine-tenths of all we say can be labelled as gossip. The smart alecs among us press the button first to say, "I am no gossip. I am a news analyst!"

More people than you can count read gossip columns. Glossies make profitable business out of our "tabloid appetite". We religiously watch news that has little relationship to truth. We bond with talk shows where people hang out their personal lives. We spend long hours in chat rooms bartering trivia with people we've not met. We love to gossip.

This age-old human habit is not simply letting off steam, it is creating stories that make sense of our friends and ourselves. "Vocal grooming" is essential to our social, psychological and physical well-being. Consider it as an exploration of human psyche, as analysis of behavioural patterns. Come to think of it, (see, people who gossip do think!) it's all a matter of name. You call it malice and I call it strain remover, anxiety alleviator or mood fixer.

A Social Issues Research Centre believes, "Mobile gossip restores our sense of community, and provides an antidote to the pressures and alienation of modern life. Mobiles are a `social lifeline' in a fragmented and isolating world." And if you think women are more prone to whisper-over-the-fence, non-productive talk, zilch it. Men just label it as "necessary survey". They critique restaurants (the coffee is excellent, prices are reasonable, but go early), cricket (Ganguly or not?), politics (will the alliance break?) weather, colleagues and the boss. Women thrash out TV serials, recipes, personal aches and pains, instant remedies, in-laws, colleagues and the boss.

Relax. For every smug "Gossip? Never!" there are ten arguments to vote for real, face-to-face "chitchat" over public scandals that the media make a profit of. First, for a lot of women talking to neighbours is about the only way to gather information.

How does she come to know of her husband's waywardness? And information empowers women. When women are shouted into submission, they resort to gossip as a safety valve either by nature or through compulsion.

Stress buster

Think calmly. Spit out the bile, they say, and feel relieved. Any psychologist will tell you chatting with friends is a good stress buster. It's lack of communication that causes of most of our problems!

Gossip is dangerspeak only on two occasions — when a simple remark turns into a Chinese whisper with a definite aim to slander and bring disrepute or when baseless (as opposed to exaggerated) rumour is a deliberate instrument to bring harm. In a prejudice-free society, where everyone accepted what everyone else did, you'd shrug it with a "So?" It would assure you that people around you are no better. In close-knit communities or social circles where we are free to gossip, we'd be responsible about what we say. Used well, gossip can relieve stress and boost the immune system. It can be a vital therapeutic activity. Trading stories enhances team-playing skills. Go ahead. Call your friends for a crisp, juicy, guilt-free rant.

GEETA PADMANABHAN

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